Bate Bro Cheating
Question:
“I’m a happily partnered Bator who is fortunate enough to get plenty of alone time weekly to hone my skill. But I would love to find a Bate Bro to share things with since my partner likes to keep things more traditional… 1. How do I find a bro that is just into bating together and nothing else; and 2. Would it be cheating if there is absolutely no mutual masturbation or deep emotions involved?!”
Thanks, Jay
Answer:
Hello, Jay. Thank you for your inquiry about wanting a Bate Bro to explore with, and the implications it may have on your relationship.
First of all, in regards to finding a Bate Bro, you have come to the right place. Bateworld is the perfect place to find what you desire in a fellow brother to bate with. May I suggest chatting with folks and being very honest with what you want to explore, and exactly the kind of container you wish to have in order to explore, i.e. no mutual masturbation, etc. With that said, direct communication will be your best tool in finding what you are looking for.
Just as in finding a Bate Bro, direct communication with your partner is the best tool in navigating your agreements around your relationship. I cannot tell you what would be considered cheating in your relationship. That is something that only you and your partner can decide on together. So if there is any doubt in your mind about what would be crossing the line, you would need to clarify that before you proceed with carrying out your Bate Bro exploration. You deserve to have an experience free of guilt and shame by being in your integrity and not setting yourself up to feel like you are dishonest or cheating on your partner. The best way to get what you want is to ask for what you need.
Reach out to your fellow Bate Brothers after you have gained some clarity with your partner about your relationship agreements.
In Love & Light,
Toby
[av_hr class=’short’ height=’50’ shadow=’no-shadow’ position=’center’ custom_border=’av-border-thin’ custom_width=’50px’ custom_border_color=” custom_margin_top=’30px’ custom_margin_bottom=’30px’ icon_select=’yes’ custom_icon_color=” icon=’ue808′ font=’entypo-fontello’ av_uid=’av-4gtlm2′]
Ejaculation and Sperm Count
Question:
Can too much bating decrease your sperm count?
Answer:
Thank you for your question, as it’s one that I believe many bators have. Allow me to answer the question in two parts.
First, the short answer is yes, frequent masturbation does decrease the amount of sperm a man will shoot with every subsequent ejaculation. Think about it, the male body is constantly creating sperm in the testicles in the hopes that the male body would be able to fertilize an egg at any given moment of sexual activity (with a women, vaginally, of course). Essentially, in laymen’s terms, the testicles act as both producers and reservoirs for the genetic make-up of the species in the form of sperm.
Men tend to produce millions of sperm every single day, and it takes about 2½ -3 months for sperm to mature enough to be varsity swimmers. And according to some studies, the adult male can ejaculate from 40 million to 1.2 billion sperm in a single ejaculation. Let’s put that into actual zeros, shall well?
40,000,000 – 1,200,000,000 sperm in a single shot! (Or shot glass, if you’re into that kinda thing.)
The more frequent you ejaculate, the less sperm you have in your reserves. However, waiting a few days without ejaculation will allow the sperm to increase in number once again.
Secondly, a decrease in sperm count is not always predicated on ejaculation. There are other factors that can affect the amount and health of the sperm within the testes. If you are concerned about the health of your swimmers, then know that there are other risks factors: smoking tobacco, obesity, excessive alcohol consumption, diet, high testicular temperature, radiation, certain medications, damage to the reproductive system, and other diseases. This is not a comprehensive list, but the point is that taking care of your body can enhance the health and count of your sperm.
Enjoy your lil’ ones,
Garland J.
[av_hr class=’short’ height=’50’ shadow=’no-shadow’ position=’center’ custom_border=’av-border-thin’ custom_width=’50px’ custom_border_color=” custom_margin_top=’30px’ custom_margin_bottom=’30px’ icon_select=’yes’ custom_icon_color=” icon=’ue808′ font=’entypo-fontello’ av_uid=’av-2e577e’]
Garland Jarmon heralds from 7 years as an HIV/AIDS educator and sexual health counselor for individuals and couples. Having a Masters in Social Work and now as a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, he seeks to help all those in the LGBTQIA, straight, and Bator community live a more wholesome and embodied life, full of mindfulness and conscious exploration.
Toby de Luca comes from a background in Education and Massage Therapy. With a Masters in Teaching and also as a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, he to assist folks in facilitating stronger, healthier relationships with their own bodies and their relationships with others.
Together they co-own their own Sex and Erotic Coaching business — Spiritual Eros (www.SpiritualEros.com). They desire to bring to the BateWorld Community an opportunity to have an open and honest discussion about issues that many of us face. They believe that everything is an experiment and that the only failed experiment is one you don’t collect the data from. They also understand that because their answers may not fit every lived experience, they welcome community members to offer their experiences, challenges, and triumphs. They are proponents that healthy community creates healthier lives… and healthy lives, healthier communities!
Garland and Toby are Sexologists and as such are NOT medical doctors or therapists. The opinions, suggestions, and advice given are not meant to be in lieu of your primary care physician’s medical advice. If you are concerned about a medical condition or have a medical emergency, PLEASE contact your doctor, urgent care, or emergency room!
Brothers, we encourage you to exercise your best and highest wisdom and intuition!
If you’d like to submit questions, please email them to [email protected].
Totally agree with Toby re: Bate Bro Cheating. As my wife and I have found, since I now have bate bros, it’s not cheating if you both agree to it. My “str8” best friend who has bated with me, believes it is not cheating if you’re not touching. I think these are just head games and rationalizations. Don’t get me wrong, I have been on the DL so no judgment here. But I have found there is nothing better than being open with your partner in the relationship when you’re allowed to play with others, assuming you can get there, which we have. Bate on
great answer… I find honest communication with a potential bate bro is the way to go. Often a simple bate experience can go further then expected if not discussed enough in advance. I also like to meet in a public place first, for security and to make sure the person is as cool as they sounded online. With this system in place, an honest, reliable bate bud can be found.
As for “cheating”, yes everyone has a different interpretation of what that entails. I would say if your partner doesn’t know and you are hiding what you are doing, than it is probably cheating. Much better to bate with a bro that has an honest relationship with their partner, though this is often hard to do…
Bottom line, if you need to find a bate partner and you are in a relationships, there is something missing in your relationship.
Regarding cheating, I think Toby’s answer is spot-on. By definition, “cheating” is “breaking the rules.” There are no set rules that apply to everyone, each couple has to negotiate rules that they feel are fair and meet the needs of each partner while respecting the integrity of the relationship. As tough as it can be sometimes, open communication is the most important factor in determining the ultimate success of any relationship. Each partner has the responsibility to express their needs and desires, to listen to the needs and desires of his partner, and to create rules that make both of you feel secure and respected without feeling resentful. It’s important to realize that rules don’t have to be set in stone. Always be open to evaluate your current situation and be willing to renegotiate. People change, relationships change, and so rules have to change to keep up. My partner (now husband) and I have been together for over 17 years now, and it is ALWAYS a work in progress. Honesty, respect, and a willingness to listen will bring you closer, while secrecy and dishonesty will bring nothing but resentment, distrust, and distance.
I wanted to add that I completely disagree with welllmaxxed. Expecting your partner to always be everything you need in every situation is a recipe for disaster. No one can be all things to any other person. My partner and I are deeply in love and the best of friends, but just as we have different hobbies, different interests, and different friends, we also have some different sexual interests. If you can’t acknowledge and understand that, then there is truly something missing in your relationship.