Ask Dr. Bate: Blue Balls and Messy Lube

Blue Balls – Take II

Question:

I travel for work and one of my favorite things is to strip naked and enter my world of self-pleasure the moment I’m alone in my hotel room. Part of it is lack of sexual activity at home and part is that I just love to jerk myself. I’ve never had a problem spending hours or even multiple days milking to porn, scoping the personals and checking grindr for local guys to potentially meet. I really enjoy working myself into a frenzy and finally shooting off my fireworks at the end of a multi-day session for myself or to impress a buddy.

Recently however, I feel like my nuts are so fucking sore after just a few hours of masturbation instead of the all-night/all-day bate sessions of my youth (I’m nearing 40). I don’t know if I need to relieve my blue balls sooner or if there’s some other remedy/trick you recommend. Or even if this could signal a serious health issue. What can I do? What do you recommend?

-Randy

Answer:

Hey Randy, thank you for your question. I answered a similar “blue balls” question back in July 2015. You can link here for that post. For the sake of continuity and ease, I will repost some of what I wrote then, here, with some further ideas of blue ball relief.

“What you are describing is a clear case of what’s called “blue balls” or Epididymal Hypertension. Blue balls often occur when the male body has been stimulated or aroused (not necessarily during sexual intercourse or masturbation) for an extended period without ejaculating.

You see, during arousal, the arteries feeding blood to the genitals expand allowing more blood in, hence why you get an erection. But at the same time the veins that allow the blood to leave constrict hence keeping blood in the genital region. Over time, the pressure builds and the blood that has remained becomes less and less oxygenated, turning the blood blue.

Hence the name, “blue balls” – the testicles and scrotum can turn a bluish-purple due to the lack of oxygenated blood (which is red).”
I agree, blue balls can be very painful. As for myself (I’m 34), I cannot participate in cum denial for extended hours due to the eventual pain. This is literally “Different strokes for different folks.” There are guys that can stay “uncummed” for days, weeks, or even months at a time. The body does change over time, so don’t be surprised that what you were once able to do when you were younger you can no longer do as a more mature adult.

The obvious and quickest way to relieve the pain would be to ejaculate. This releases the pressure and allows both the veins and arteries to return to their normal functioning. However, there are some other things you could explore to see if you can move the energy and blood away from your groin (know that these are not one-size-fits-all remedies). Remember also, that a lot of the energy and blood is concentrating in your groin, so the goal would be to help move that energy and blood from the affected area – causing the veins to cease their constriction.

1. Exercise can help move the blood to other parts of your body. Some studies even recommend lifting a heavy object as to change the blood pressure in your genitals.
2. Using a warm towel on the surrounding area to promote the veins to dilate.
3. Massaging the surrounding area and the testicles can potentially help move the energy and blood from the surrounding area, elsewhere.
4. Some studies recommend using cold compresses or cold showers. This might be a hit or miss as cold also can constrict blood vessels further.

Again, this is not a one-size-fits-all list, and your best option is still to ejaculate. If you are concerned about the symptoms further, I recommend seeking the advice of your personal care physician.

I hope this helps!
Garland J.

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Messy Lube

Question:

I typically masturbate without lube or lotion because I am sitting at the computer chatting, flipping through porn or having phone sex. I am worried that my penis is getting too much dry skin and damage, but I don’t want to get my computer/phone covered in lube. Any thoughts on this?

Answer:

Hello, Bate Brother. Thank you for your question. Dry dick is not fun and can lead to soreness and skin breakage. I understand your wanting your bate sessions to not be a slippery, slimy mess as far as your phone and your keyboard, etc. So, to avoid irritated, dry dick and to minimize clean up, I have a few suggestions.

My first suggestion would be to try coconut oil as a lube because it is natural and it can just be wiped up with a cloth instead of soap and water if you were to use a silicone-based lube. Water-based lubes would require water for clean up… and we all know that water and electronics don’t mix well (especially when your cock is involved). That’s not the kind of electric bate session you want to have.

You can also try to keep one hand lubed up on your cock and the other hand for using your electronics. You will soon be among the many of us that are skilled at one-handed typing.

Another tool you can use to protect your computer is a plastic keyboard cover. This will prevent any lube from getting onto and between the keys. They also have plastic covers that protect your computer mouse. These products can be found with a quick search on the Internet.

Happy experimenting with your lubed cock!

I am very curious what other suggestions and tricks of the trade our other Bate Brothers have as well!

In Bated Breath,
Toby

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Garland Jarmon heralds from 7 years as an HIV/AIDS educator and sexual health counselor for individuals and couples. Having a Masters in Social Work and now as a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, he seeks to help all those in the LGBTQIA, straight, and Bator community live a more wholesome and embodied life, full of mindfulness and conscious exploration.

Toby de Luca comes from a background in Education and Massage Therapy. With a Masters in Teaching and also as a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, he to assist folks in facilitating stronger, healthier relationships with their own bodies and their relationships with others.

Together they co-own their own Sex and Erotic Coaching business — Spiritual Eros (www.SpiritualEros.com). They desire to bring to the BateWorld Community an opportunity to have an open and honest discussion about issues that many of us face. They believe that everything is an experiment and that the only failed experiment is one you don’t collect the data from. They also understand that because their answers may not fit every lived experience, they welcome community members to offer their experiences, challenges, and triumphs. They are proponents that healthy community creates healthier lives… and healthy lives, healthier communities!

Garland and Toby are Sexologists and as such are NOT medical doctors or therapists. The opinions, suggestions, and advice given are not meant to be in lieu of your primary care physician’s medical advice. If you are concerned about a medical condition or have a medical emergency, PLEASE contact your doctor, urgent care, or emergency room!

Brothers, we encourage you to exercise your best and highest wisdom and intuition!

If you’d like to submit questions, please email them to [email protected].