Question:
Dr. Bate,
How do I make myself edge and shoot my cum further? I cum in less than a minute and I want to stroke longer and shoot my cum.
Thanks for your time,
Cody
Dr. Bate’s Answer:
Hello Cody,
Thank you for your very popular question about sustained edging. The very first thing to know about building up your edging practice is to SLOW DOWN! Make yourself physically comfortable. Be intentional about where you want to bate. Make a nest! Include all of your body in your edging sessions.
We are so often in a rush to get off that our body becomes habitual in wanting to get off as quick as possible. The most effective way to slow down is to pay attention to your breath. We so often stop breathing during masturbation and completely contract all of our muscles, focusing all of our attention and energy to the cock. Our bodies become conditioned to immediate arousal and release!
Incorporate ALL your senses. You can play music, light incense, burn candles, or dim the lights. These are just a few ideas in how you can pay attention to and include your entire erotic self into your edging sessions. Turn this into a practice where you are seducing yourself! What else might you enjoy?
By slowing down and breathing long, belly breaths, you can move your erotic energy all throughout your body. This will help your body to learn to sustain higher erotic energy for a longer period of time and experience new sensations that are not solely focused on your cock.
Slowing down, focusing on your breath, incorporating all of your senses and all of your body will allow you to prolong your edging sessions, which will make you shoot further as well.
Have fun exploring!
In Breath,
Toby
[av_hr class=’short’ height=’50’ shadow=’no-shadow’ position=’center’ custom_border=’av-border-thin’ custom_width=’50px’ custom_border_color=” custom_margin_top=’30px’ custom_margin_bottom=’30px’ icon_select=’yes’ custom_icon_color=” icon=’ue808′ font=’entypo-fontello’ av_uid=’av-3sbccw’]
Gay – Straight Bate
Question:
I am a gay man and I think the idea of masturbating with a straight friend is incredibly hot! I have often fantasized about my straight friends jacking off and wonder how I would even go about making that bond with a straight guy without him thinking it’s me hitting on him. Have you ever experienced something like this?
Dr. Bate’s Answer:
Thanks for your question!
As you probably can surmise, this question is not uncommon among gay men. The thought of being with a straight guy has filled many a gay man’s fantasies for one reason or another.
My philosophy can be reduced to two statements – “Read the room” and “Honesty is the best policy.”
1. “Read the room” – You aren’t literally reading an entire room of people and the phrase, in this case, is far more subjective (about your friend) and can be more accurately understood as “read/understand the person” or “read/understand the dynamics of your relationship with them.” Not all relationships can handle such a potentially sensitive inquiry, “Would you like to bate with me” or “I find you very attractive and was wondering if you would be interested in bating with me?”
Only you can determine the depth of your relationship with your friend and whether or not bating with him would be a potential. A good way of testing the waters is to drop some hints. Perhaps you might want to ask them about masturbation or how they feel about it. “Feel” into this. What are his responses? If you share that you really like to bate, how do they react? There are ways of being subtle while gathering the information you need to move to step two.
2. “Honesty is the best policy” – This goes for many things in life and ultimately the quickest way of getting what you want in life. At some point, if you’ve tested the waters and feel like your inquiry would be received well, you’re eventually just going to have to ask him. If you value your friendship with him and are still concerned about his reaction, you might want to leave yourself a backdoor. Something like this, “Hey, I was just wondering if you’d ever be up for bating together sometime? It’s ok if you’re not, I don’t want things to be weird or whatever, I was just curious.”
Not putting too much pressure or gravity on the request can leave some “breathing room” for both parties and lessen the blow of a potential “no.” Pressure is the last thing you want your friend to feel. Make it light. Make it super casual. Either way, there are ways of being forward and still sounding fairly laissez-faire (lax, nonchalant, hands-off) about it.
Good luck! I hope this helps! Would love to hear how it goes.
Garland J.
[av_hr class=’short’ height=’50’ shadow=’no-shadow’ position=’center’ custom_border=’av-border-thin’ custom_width=’50px’ custom_border_color=” custom_margin_top=’30px’ custom_margin_bottom=’30px’ icon_select=’yes’ custom_icon_color=” icon=’ue808′ font=’entypo-fontello’ av_uid=’av-2yxlnk’]
Garland Jarmon heralds from 7 years as an HIV/AIDS educator and sexual health counselor for individuals and couples. Having a Masters in Social Work and now as a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, he seeks to help all those in the LGBTQIA, straight, and Bator community live a more wholesome and embodied life, full of mindfulness and conscious exploration.
Toby de Luca comes from a background in Education and Massage Therapy. With a Masters in Teaching and also as a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, he to assist folks in facilitating stronger, healthier relationships with their own bodies and their relationships with others.
Together they co-own their own Sex and Erotic Coaching business — Spiritual Eros (www.SpiritualEros.com). They desire to bring to the BateWorld Community an opportunity to have open and honest discussion about issues that many of us face. They believe that everything is an experiment and that the only failed experiment is one you don’t collect the data from. They also understand that because their answers may not fit every lived experience, they welcome community members to offer their own experiences, challenges, and triumphs. They are proponents that healthy community creates healthier lives…and healthy lives, healthier communities!
Garland and Toby are Sexologists and as such are NOT medical doctors or therapists. The opinions, suggestions, and advice given are not meant to be in lieu of your primary care physician’s medical advice. If you are concerned about a medical condition or have a medical emergency, PLEASE contact your doctor, urgent care, or emergency room!
Brothers, we encourage you to exercise your best and highest wisdom and intuition!
If you’d like to submit questions, please email them to [email protected].
