“There are all sorts of subtle nuances to masturbatory pleasure, which involve pressure, tempos, particular strokes, the right touch, even fetishes and other aspects of arousal.”

QUESTION:

I’m in University and my roomies all love to jack, which we do quite openly, and sometimes together! It’s like Heaven on Earth! But one hot guy I like always wants to finish me off. He just doesn’t have the right touch, and I’ve tried to show him. It goes on and on—frustrating! How do I say, “Thank you, no,” without hurting his feelings?

RESPONSE:

Your desire not to hurt this guy’s feelings is great, only remember that ultimately you cannot be responsible for how anyone else feels. That is up to them. Of course, you don’t want to alienate a roomie! Do your best to be kind, but there are several approaches you might try.

First, keep in mind that precisely what feels best to you (or any other guy, for that matter) really comes from inside you. There are all sorts of subtle nuances to masturbatory pleasure, which involve pressure, tempos, particular strokes, the right touch, even fetishes and other aspects of arousal. While many guys find the idea of mutual masturbation very exciting, you and a buddy each stroking the other’s erection, sometimes the idea ends up more exciting than the actual experience.

You could bring up this very subject, and mention that you were reading about it. (That’s the truth, right?) Without telling him you are talking about him, perhaps mention that you’ve noticed this with the other roomies, also. He might or might not take the hint.

Another approach could be to tell him that you’re not planning to come any time soon. Without being dishonest, you can say that to stroke yourself gives you more control of not coming. No need to mention that stroking yourself is also an easier way for you to come. Both are true for most guys. 

If neither of these approaches work, he doesn’t seem to get the hint and persists in trying to stroke you to climax, you can try a more direct approach. Sweeten it first with a bit of flattery. Something like: “You are such a good-looking guy and I really like you. I seriously appreciate that you want to help me to the finish-line, but the truth is that it’s easier for me to get there by doing the honors myself! Hopefully you understand and can accept this?”

One final option, if you can’t manage with any of these approaches, is to count your blessings. You described your domestic arrangement as “Heaven on Earth,” so consider how many guys would envy you getting to live around other guys who masturbate openly! 

Remember how much of what is going on is really in your mind, more than anything! If it does feel good when this roomie strokes your penis, enjoy that much, and remember that you can always finish yourself alone! 

Pay mindful attention and appreciate his attention. You might even learn to enjoy his touch enough to come that way.

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at BateWorld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.