Wisdom for Aspiring Masturbators: A New Year’s Top Ten List

Masturbators, as the New Year rolls in I have been reflecting on one of my favorite subjects: masturbation. 

I am a masturbation advocate with a lifelong intellectual interest in male masturbation. I have enjoyed several decades of my own masturbation experience.

I do not consider myself a masturbation expert. I am not a physician or an anthropologist or a sex therapist. However, between years of reading, writing, and blogging about masturbation, and, of course, routinely engaging in it, I offer my top ten list of wisdom for aspiring masturbators:

1. Masturbate Whenever Desire and Opportunity Align 

If you want to masturbate, and you have the time and the privacy to do so, then masturbate. Don’t hesitate. There is no reason not to. This should go without saying, but unfortunately it often needs to be said.

Having said that, only masturbate when you want to masturbate. Capitalize on your remarkable ability whenever you want, but never feel that you’re obligated to masturbate. Balance it with your life’s other responsibilities and pleasures.

Choose your opportunities wisely. Be adventurous where and when you masturbate. The risk of being “caught” can be exhilarating, but don’t masturbate where you may offend people. Remember that masturbating in public (or in view of the public) may place you in legal jeopardy. Be careful. 

In private with an abundance of desire and time, masturbate without hesitation and with wild abandon.  

Never feel that you’re obligated to masturbate. Balance it with your life’s other responsibilities and pleasures.

2. Masturbation Serves as an Evolutionary Mechanism

Humans are not the only primates that masturbate, but we are the only species that regularly masturbates to cumulation. In other words, human males are the only male species that regularly masturbates until they ejaculate. Why is that? Mounting evidences points to human evolution. 

You are the descendant of generations of proficient male masturbators whose sperm proved more competitive than less proficient masturbators. They passed that genetic advantage on to their offspring while the less proficient masturbators eventually died off. Those proficient masturbator’s offspring, in turn, became even more proficient masturbators, who, in turn, past those traits on to their offspring. That evolutionary cycle repeated itself over and over and over again leading to the near perfect masturbator that is manifested in YOU.

Evolution equipped you to be an extraordinarily talented masturbator. Aspire to be that extraordinarily talented masturbator.

3. Masturbation Plays a Fatherhood Role

Multiple experts agree that a “Goldilocks” amount of ejaculation favors conception. Ejaculate too often and you risk diminishing your sperm count’s ability to trigger conception. Ejaculate infrequently and you risk older, more dormant sperm cells undermining your overall sperm count’s vitality. Ejaculate with just the right frequency and you flush out your older sperm in favor of new younger sperm in sufficient numbers to trigger conception. Ejaculate with the right frequency and you render your sperm more competitive.

Why does more competitive sperm matter? It doesn’t if you are in a monogamous relationship with the future mother of your child. But for most of human history polygamy reigned. Natural selection favored completive sperm in that polygamous environment. When multiple males copulated with the same ovulating female at the same time, her offspring tended to resemble the suitor with the more competitive sperm. His DNA carried on.

Some evidence indicates that ejaculating every two to three days on average produces that “Goldilocks” frequency. You generally ejaculate in three ways: partnered sex, nocturnal emissions, and masturbation. Maybe you’re lucky to have a vigorous sex life or frequent wet dreams, but, for most of us, we need to add a little masturbation to the mix to maintain that frequency. 

As it is, studies indicate that, between partnered sex, nocturnal emissions, and masturbation, most men in their early twenties ejaculate once every two to three days. Coincidence? Probably not. More likely it’s an evolutionary carryover from back when optimum ejaculation frequency promoted optimum sperm competition which propagated DNA signatures favoring both.

Speak to your physician about fertility if you wish to become a father. Do NOT rely on increased ejaculations if you do not wish to become a father; use proven means of contraception instead. 

Studies indicate that, between partnered sex, nocturnal emissions, and masturbation, most men in their early twenties ejaculate once every two to three days.

4. Masturbation is Lifelong

There persists this myth that masturbation exists as the “Farm League” of one’s sex life. Armed with pornography, you masturbate as an adolescent to acclimate yourself to the partnered sex you hope to someday obtain. Once you start engaging in partnered sex, having now entered the “Major League”, masturbation becomes obsolete.

Well, that belief truly is a myth. Masturbation may have faithfully served as your “teenage coach”, but it should not end with your adolescence. In fact, your early masturbation years should serve as precursor of a lifetime of intentional self-pleasure and self-reflection. 

You can, and should, integrate masturbation effectively with partnered sex. Even if you receive all the partnered sex you want, solo masturbation still serves as sex completely on your terms. You have no one else’s needs to fulfill other than your own. Partnered sex is wonderful and glorious and unmatched in its own right, but the personal experience masturbation offers likewise cannot be beat. Why would you abandon it?

From that first orgasm achieved by your own hand, you can rely on masturbation remaining a constant throughout every stage of your life. Think about that for a minute. How many things can you reliably count on over your entire lifetime?

Consider masturbation as a lifelong companion. It will not let you down. 

5. Disclose your Masturbation Lifestyle to your Partner

Of all the words of wisdom offered here, this may be the most important: disclose your masturbation lifestyle to your long-term partner. Don’t keep it secret. Do not deceive yourself that you will happily stop masturbating in favor of a new relationship.

This advice rings particularly true with marriage engagements. Make sure your future spouse understands that you intend to masturbate into the marriage. Chances are that your future spouse also masturbates, so this should not pose a problem, but don’t risk assumptions. Talk to them.

Solo masturbation will not jeopardize most marriages. If you remain sexually engaged with your partner to your mutual satisfaction, supplementing solo masturbation should fit in nicely. You may not masturbate as often, but you will still want to keep it available. 

Solo masturbation serves as a uniquely personal experience. It honors yourself. It in no way dishonors your spouse. Solo masturbation does not equate to cheating on your partner; it merely allows you to stay true to your sexual self.

If your future spouse insists that your marriage must be masturbation free, consider that a red flag. Marriage will not “exorcize” the masturbator within you. Expecting that it will risks a lifetime of misery and an eventual divorce. 

Plan to be a married masturbator much as you were a single masturbator — complete with the full blessing of your supportive spouse.

6. Beware of Exploitation

A lot of unnecessary guilt, shame, and regret arises from a fictitious belief that masturbation is somehow immoral. When performed properly, nothing about masturbation, itself, is immoral. 

I consider myself a moral person (though hardly perfect), and I masturbate frequently without hesitation. Masturbation is completely natural and usually harmless; I don’t associate it with immorality. 

Where masturbation can become entangled with morality is through predatory exploitation. Exploitation is harmful and therefore immoral. Unfortunately, predatory exploitation shares an ugly history with pornography.

Pornography is not exploitive when each subject maturely and willingly shares their sexuality. This type of pornography is often referred to as  “ethical porn”, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Watch and masturbate to all the ethical porn you want with a clear conscience.

The problem is that ethical pornography can be hard to distinguish from unethical porn, especially if you are not paying for it.

I lean towards viewing images of women (my interest) who are not sexually engaged. I hold higher confidence that they maturely and willingly offered their nude images when they’re exhibited by themselves.

Choose your pornography carefully if you hold concerns about masturbation’s morality. I masturbate guilt free when I’m confident that I’m doing so without harming others. 

7. Learn More about Masturbation

For all that I have learned about masturbation, I’m always eager to learn more. That remains a lifelong goal. 

Finding resources to educate yourself about masturbation can prove a challenge, but they are out there. Obviously a great resource exists right here on The Bator Blog and of course BateWorld.com. Explore the numerous excellent blogs here. 

I recommend aspiring masturbators also visit the following websites: 

• TeenHealth
• JackinWorld
• Healthy Strokes: TEN FACTS ABOUT MASTURBATION AND YOUR HEALTH
• Orgasmic Guy
• Men’s Health: 18 Masturbation Tips and Techniques That’ll Blow Your Damn Mind
• Men’s Health: Shocking Facts You Never Knew About Masturbation
• Your Tango: 10 Ways Guys Can Masturbate To Become BETTER At Sex

If you’re interested in masturbation’s role with human evolution, sperm competition, and sperm count/quality regarding fertility, explore these articles: 

• Scientific American: One reason why humans are special and unique – We masturbate. A lot
• Inverse: EVOLUTION WANTS YOU TO MASTURBATE
• Newsweek: Why Masturbation Helps Procreation
• Fertially: Does masturbation reduce sperm count?

Learning more about masturbation and how to be a better masturbator will serve to make you a better masturbator. That’s time well spent.

8. Employ Masturbation to Learn about Yourself.

Masturbation provides the window to your sexuality. 

Nothing will illuminate your sexual identity more than masturbation. Not the pornography you watch. Not the people you have sex with. Those other action may help inform your sexuality, but masturbation will expose it — though covertly and only to yourself. 

Solo masturbation provides you limitless opportunities to learn what gets you off. You can fantasize about everything and anything without judgement. You will enjoy unmatched freedom to be your true sexual self, unimpeded by outside prejudices and expectations. 

If you want to honestly discover where you fall on the sexuality spectrum, masturbate. If you want to truly explore the range of your sexuality, masturbate. If you want to recognize the uniquely sexual person that you are, masturbate. Let your masturbatory fantasies roam freely. Follow them wherever they take you. Whatever triggers your culminations in the end will provide you the answers that you seek.

In that way, masturbation is liberating.

9. Explore Mindful Masturbation

We all recognize how rewarding masturbating using pornography can be. Well, it can be even more rewarding without it.

That elevated masturbation is referred to as mindful masturbation. Where masturbation using pornography focuses on the external (other people), mindful masturbation focuses on the internal — you. 

Masturbation, not sex, becomes centric in mindful masturbation. You clear your mind of everything else and everyone else, and intently and entirely focus on the self-pleasure masturbation provides you.

When performed properly, mindful masturbation places your penis at the epicenter of your existence. From that epicenter radiates indescribable pleasure throughout your entire body. When your mind remains fixated on just that, pulsating pleasure persists until you ultimately culminate in a mind-blowing orgasm.

When performed properly, mindful masturbation places your penis at the epicenter of your existence.

Mindful masturbation takes some practice and requires some patience, but proves richly rewarding. There are good resources about mindful masturbation right here on the Bator Blog with links available to other educational sources.

Pornography and partnered sex have their place. I enjoy both. But mindful masturbation elevates sexual pleasure to a plane that neither one can truly reach. Nothing reinforces my identify as a Masturbator more than mindful masturbation.

10. Write and Blog about Masturbation

I realize that this last piece of wisdom will not be embraced by everyone. Not everyone likes to write or blog, but I recommend both.

You learn a lot when you write and blog about a subject. The truth is, I find that both writing and blogging about masturbation inspires my own masturbation. I think most of us authors and bloggers do. We like writing and blogging about masturbation because we like masturbating.

But my reasons go beyond that. I write and blog about masturbation primarily to promote it to other guys like you with the hope that it will enrich your life like it has mine. 

I mentioned that I do not associate masturbation with immorality. On the contrary, I feel that promoting the benefits of masturbation — helping other guys like you become self-confident, unhesitant masturbators, free of guilt, shame, and regret — helping other guys like you embrace the perfect masturbator that human evolution rendered you to be — constitutes a truly moral act. 

Masturbation has proven a faithful, lifelong companion for me. I hope it will act equally as a faithful, lifelong companion for you.

By Jason Archer

ProudArcher on BateWorld 

Jason Archer hosts two NSFW blogs for masturbators 18+: 

https://proudarcher.newtumbl.com and https://straightbate.newtumbl.com