QUESTION:
I’m healthy, in my 50s, and a mindful masturbator, so I don’t use porn a lot. But sometimes my erection doesn’t get very hard, even on cam with a hot bate bud. Not too often, but sometimes. What gives? How normal is this?
RESPONSE:
Mindful practitioner or not, any man’s penis is not totally obedient to his wishes, not in terms of always growing erect on demand. My advice to men is always: “Make your penis your best friend!” This includes accepting the fact that even for far younger men, and highly-sexed guys, the penis does not always cooperate, in terms of getting hard when you want that.
The cliché that your penis has a mind of its own has some truth to it. Or rather, you and all the systems involved in your male arousal are so incredibly complex that many times you may never know for sure exactly what is causing what. Some erections sprout mysteriously or go away for reasons just as unknown.
In today’s world of male masturbators, many men usually masturbate to porn, which can easily stir arousal for you. Also, there are erection enhancement drugs that make it easy for almost any man to get erect to some extent “on command.” With these drugs, you still need stimulation, physical, mental, or both, to trigger and sustain your erection. The drugs just make it a lot easier.
When your penis is your best friend, as with any good friendship, do not demand obedience. Kindly and generous treatment is most likely to gain cooperation. Depending on various factors, such as your physical health, energy level, emotional state, and other less obvious factors, your erection may or may not cooperate. It is not a slave to do your bidding. There is no erection killer like the pressure to perform!
The answer to the second part of your question is that it is extremely “normal” and common and understandable if your erection does not seem as firm as you wish, last as long as you’d like, or indeed, if sometimes it doesn’t happen at all!
Relax about this issue, as male arousal is not an act, but a natural and sincere response to desire, lust, horniness. Let it happen when it feels right and good, and don’t stress yourself or worry when it doesn’t happen, or it fails to live up to your expectations.
“Let it happen when it feels right and good, and don’t stress yourself or worry when it doesn’t happen, or it fails to live up to your expectations.”
This is a perfect example of “Expectation may lead to disappointment, but expectancy is just hoping for the best.” Most often, with a good attitude, life delivers on the latter!
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at BateWorld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
Indeed, things can and do go awry downthere. It’s something I’ve dealt with early on, I would get fully erect for my bates but I discovered in my early 20’s that I wouldn’t/couldn’t get erect for sex with a gal, for some reason. It was so frustrating and of course disappointing not getting erect for sex. And yet I would go home to masturbate and would ‘bone up’ just fine.
Then starting some years back, perhaps my early 60’s (not that I wrote down the date) I discovered I no longer got erect for my bates either. But no worrys, it still feels wonderful to masturbate my softy to an orgasm which I (still) do first thing every morning.. So things do change over time or well they can change.
As someone who’s older I go through various states of erection leading to orgasm. Each has it’s benefits but my favorite is being semi-erect when i can be pliable and horney at the same time. I can bend, twist, tuck in between balls and thigh – and just being able to experience sensations that a stiff dick can’t. Cumming is considered the main event but many just as enjoyable things can be experienced all day long.
We think and act so similar love the chub flop
Take the “down time” as an opportunity to love your cock. I’m 61, but have no issues getting erections. However, I certainly have ups and downs during a masturbation session. I’ve learned to oil up (I only use coconut oil) and massage my semi-hard or soft cock, enjoying the intense, relaxing sensations of my spongy cock and taffy-like balls. I even “masturbate” my oiled up pubic hair, raking and pulling it, something that really turns me on. Once I accepted my cock in all of its stages, I learned to breathe deeply and still play with myself, which usually got me back to an erection (though sometimes not). My cock IS my best friend, so I let him guide our activities. A cock massage can be incredibly soothing, and it’s actually become a favorite “stroke” to my routine.
Im 62 years old and I have no problem jerking off my cock just doesnt get as rock hard as it used to.