Ask Dr. Bate

Ask Dr. Bate – BATING HANGUPS

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Originally Published: July 2, 2014

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Updated: March 28, 2023

Why do most people have bating hangups?

I mean, isn’t it common knowledge that all guys love to jack off? So why are guys uptight about it? I’m gay, but would love to enjoy jacking beside a buddy, gay or straight. How can I let someone know it’s okay to enjoy the experience?

You’d think we’d be okay with it in 2013, yeah? But think of the messages many of us around the world grow up with related to anything sexual: religious messages, political messages, social messages, etc. It turns out, some people are fine with sexuality, and some people have hangups.

Some people are fine with one or two specific sexual behaviors, but totally hung up about other ones. I find it intensely satisfying to be able to bond with other men through our penises, and the more I do, the less interested I am about identifying with those 19th and 20th Century terms of gay/straight/bi, and the purported “communities” that have sprung up around them. Anyway, stay tuned for a documentary about masturbation that covers just that–why the big deal?!

Check out StickyTheMovie and Bate On!

Dr. Bate is the pseudonym for a licensed and practicing psychotherapist and certified sex therapist.
DISCLAIMER: This advice is neither intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical consultation. It is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only.

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Garland Jarmon heralds from 7 years as an HIV/AIDS educator and sexual health counselor for individuals and couples. Having a Masters in Social Work and now as a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, he seeks to help all those in the LGBTQIA, straight, and Bator community live a more wholesome and embodied life, full of mindfulness and conscious exploration.

Toby de Luca comes from a background in Education and Massage Therapy. With a Masters in Teaching and also as a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, he to assist folks in facilitating stronger, healthier relationships with their own bodies and their relationships with others.

Together they co-own their own Sex and Erotic Coaching business — Spiritual Eros (www.SpiritualEros.com). They desire to bring to the BateWorld Community an opportunity to have an open and honest discussion about issues that many of us face. They believe that everything is an experiment and that the only failed experiment is one you don’t collect the data from. They also understand that because their answers may not fit every lived experience, they welcome community members to offer their own experiences, challenges, and triumphs. They are proponents that healthy community creates healthier lives…and healthy lives, healthier communities!

Garland and Toby are Sexologists and as such are NOT medical doctors or therapists. The opinions, suggestions, and advice given are not meant to be in lieu of your primary care physician’s medical advice. If you are concerned about a medical condition or have a medical emergency, PLEASE contact your doctor, urgent care, or emergency room!

Brothers, we encourage you to exercise your best and highest wisdom and intuition!

If you’d like to submit questions, please email them to [email protected].

Filed Under: Ask Dr. Bate

Ask Dr. Bate: A Transition

Endings and Beginnings

All of us at BateWorld and The BatorBlog want to thank Garland and Toby for their insightful and thought-provoking articles for The BatorBlog’s Dr. Bate column. After two years of monthly articles, they’ll now be moving on to pursue their calling in private practice and group workshops, and we all want to wish them the best.

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