“My older brother […] is a big fan of yours and gives me detailed tips on “how to!” Is this okay, in your opinion?”

QUESTION:

I gotta say right off that nothing illegal happened and we never actually did anything together, but my older brother answered my questions and told me all about the bate. He even showed me some strokes using an unpeeled banana. He’s a big fan of yours and gives me detailed tips on “how to!” Is this okay, in your opinion?

RESPONSE:

It’s great that your older brother apparently speaks openly and honestly about masturbation. If he’s a fan of mine, he probably shares quite accurate information. What I share is based on both scientific and medical study of the penis and self-pleasure along with my own many years of intense experience and practice, and the thousands of men I have coached. 

It’s also a good thing that he limited the “hands on” demos to using a banana. I cannot advocate anything that is technically illegal. There are reasons why an older male in a position of social or family authority must be respectful of the mind-space and bodily privacy of a younger guy. Still, who better to advise you about such important matters than an older man you trust? Your brother clearly serves this purpose well in your case.

Many men have lasting problems not only with masturbation but their sexuality generally due to either a lack of a good, trustworthy source of information. Even worse, many guys get active misinformation. Many guys still get the impression that while masturbation might not hurt you, it’s only an alternative practice to relieve your tension when you can’t get “real sex.” This, of course, is nonsense. Regardless of relationships, most men masturbate quite often. 

Masturbation is a primary form of erotic pleasure. You can make a good case to consider it the original form of sex. Masturbation is a somewhat different category from many forms of sex shared with others, which involve various kinds of insertion or other contact. As such, masturbation can and should be enjoyed for its own sake as a category of pleasure every bit as valid as partnered sexual contact.

For some men, masturbation is a favorite form of sex. Also, it certainly can be shared. There can be a special freedom from ego games when men share masturbation in open-minded, open-hearted mutual support and encouragement. As such, there is nothing “lesser” or “inferior” about masturbation. Solo, with a buddy, or in a group—it’s all good!

You are truly blessed to have a kind and well-informed older brother who respects your boundaries, and yet talks with you honestly. This gives you a great advantage over many of your less fortunate contemporaries who may have learned inhibitions, misinformation, or nothing at all from anyone they can trust.

And by the way, your brother’s appreciation means a lot to me! Please tell him thanks from Bruce! 

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at BateWorld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.