I often say that in reality, human males do not neatly fit into a handful of labels, as far as our sexuality is concerned.
QUESTION:
I keep hearing how more and more straight guys like to stroke with other guys. Well, I’m one of them! I do love p***y, but seeing hard dicks is so hot! I always wish I could touch them, feel them, have mine stroked too by a buddy! How can I hook up with other straight guys who only want to bate with me and not do other gay stuff?
RESPONSE:
To be honest there is some homophobia embedded in your question. Actually, it’s cool that you admit to yourself that the erections of your fellow men, and the possibility of sharing mutual masturbation with another man turns you on. However, you are limiting yourself if you believe it actually matters whether a bate buddy considers himself straight, bisexual, or gay, or gender fluid or whatever.
If you are both guys with penises, and you want to masturbate together, as well as possibly touching each other’s penises, that is all that really matters. Perhaps you say you wish to hook up with other straight men for such an experience because you feel it might be some kind of reflection upon your own masculinity, should a bate buddy not label himself the same way you do.
Consider this: if you judge a potential bate buddy according to how he labels himself sexually, how you label yourself sexually may be too important to you in this situation. I often say that in reality, human males do not neatly fit into a handful of labels, as far as our sexuality is concerned. Labels such as “gay, bisexual, and straight” really describe kinds of sexual behavior, not kinds of people.
Please be aware that I am not telling you it is wrong to label yourself. Still, in reality you limit yourself, limit your options, and limit your opportunities for erotic fun, if you take such labels too seriously. If you are concerned about anyone wanting to engage in activity beyond sharing masturbatory play, simply say so at the outset of your play session. This can save you some awkwardness, or even more unpleasant consequences, even if it feels challenging to be so straightforward ahead of time.
You are limiting yourself if you believe it actually matters whether a bate buddy considers himself straight, bisexual, or gay, or gender fluid or whatever.
There is never anything wrong with asking for what you want—in fact, it is usually an excellent idea! At the same time, if there is something you do not wish to do, that is also a good thing to make clear. You might state this in a somewhat diplomatic, strategic fashion, for example: “I’d really be interested to try masturbating together with you, and if you’re willing, let’s try that. Maybe that will be enough of a step, at least for now. So, what do you think?” It might not hurt to add, “If you don’t want to, that’s also okay with me.”
Another approach is to ease into such an experience a bit more indirectly by simply suggesting to some guy that you might want to look at porn together on your phone or laptop. If he agrees, you may both become somewhat aroused, which could easily cause both of you to move in the direction of what you are wanting to try.
Most important: consider why you stated you would prefer to do this with another “straight guy.” Why should it matter to you, so long as you are prepared to ask that it remain in the realm of a brotherly bate session?
Would it really matter to you if the other guy considers himself to be bisexual? Would it really matter to you if the other guy considers himself to be gay? Why would it matter? What do these questions tell you about yourself, if you can really be honest with yourself?
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
Well said. It’s not like we wear patches on our jackets to advertise our specific sexual identity. While there are certainly people that adamantly declare themselves “straight,” there are also millions of us that are delicate mixes of a lot of things. I pretty much knew as a teen that I was bi, as I was equally aroused by males as females. I married a woman who also valued solo sex and we’ve been happily together, Jacking and Jilling for decades. But I’d accept an invitation to stroke with another guy – friend or stranger – in a heartbeat. I don’t care what his sexual identity is; if he enjoys sharing masturbation, he’s OK in my book.
love to meet you for a bate anytime
I am a huge fan of masturbation. some call it edging, but for me it just takes a while to get aroused and cum.
I have dated couples, and in each case masturbation was part of our sexual play. More than once I would be the only one nude and the couple would watch, sorta a CFNM, but more NMCC.
Also when we were all nude we would find our selves watching each other get off. The husband and I would sometimes stand side by side naked and stroke our selves to the up turned face of his wife.
So I have been naked with a guy, jacking, but not alone with a naked guy.
I don’t know if I would but I have.
Interesting the way you describe “your own” edging. Awesome honesty. But I must say, in my view, edging is not the same thing as masturbation. It’s a subset of masturbation. Edging is a real thing.
For many men, myself included, they can do a quickie–masturbating their penis for a few minutes to reach orgasm. But when they edge, they do it with intention, denying the urge to ejaculate and prolong emission of semen as long as they want.
That’s half of it…the un-willingness to associate with ‘gay’ or ‘bi’ men, by definition makes a straight man suspect. But, I think there’s another dimension to this. First, if ‘straight guy’ hooks up with a gay/bi guy. ‘straight guy’ wants NSA and he’s afraid that ‘gay/bi’ guy might want to continue the relationship. Second scenario. ‘straight guy’ might want to continue the bate-buddy relationship, but, his wife might start asking questions about why hubby is hanging our with ‘single’ men. Whereas, if the other man is married….well obviously the connection between two such man couldn’t possibly be sexual…and the connection between the two couples is ‘normal’.
Why are so called straight men, who obviously like penis, so hung up on labels? As an out and proud Gay Man I take exception to the phrasing of this question. I believe it reeks of fear, shame and guilt. Even more, I strongly object that that it implies there is something not right about being Gay. On BW we see so many questions by these guys beginning with…”…is it gay if…?”
Really enough. Think the Batemaster handled the question in a dignified way; maybe too dignified.
Hey Straight Guy, you know what? You like penis and so does this Gay Man. Dig deeper, huh?
Very good response. I feel the same about labels. They are a hindrance to owning our sexuality. I wrote a similar blog a year ago called Fuck Labels. Here’s the link: https://bateworld.com/blog.php?user=guzlr44&blogentry_id=6524
No matter which label one picks, we’re all sexual. And we enjoy masturbating. I’ve never done anything for reals with a guy but do enjoy chatting about & sharing a bate on bw or skype.
Great response. And yes, I agree the question has a hint of shame and homophobia. In my view, I don’t care about self-labeling. Sure, men or women can define and call themselves however they want. But to me, if a man sexually enjoys penises of other men, he’s not “straight”.
As another straight bator, I don’t mind bating with other guys regardless of sexuality. But I prefer other straight guys purely based on experience.
Other straight guys won’t ‘test the waters’ and see if you want to have sex, kiss or get / give a blowjob. There is a mutual understanding there from the start without any risk of the other person wanting to turn it into more (though I guess anything can happen regardless of sexuality).
I personally don’t care whether someone is gay, straight, bi, whatever when it comes to mutual bating. But I do tend to go with other straight guys for that understanding as well as mutual understanding on the experience that I tend to get moreso with them compared to others.
As another straight bator, I don’t mind bating with other guys regardless of sexuality. But I prefer other straight guys purely based on experience.
Other straight guys won’t ‘test the waters’ and see if you want to have sex, kiss or get / give a blowjob. There is a mutual understanding there from the start without any risk of the other person wanting to turn it into more (though I guess anything can happen regardless of sexuality).
I personally don’t care whether someone is gay, straight, bi, whatever when it comes to mutual bating. But I do tend to go with other straight guys for that understanding as well as mutual understanding on the experience that I tend to get moreso with them compared to others.
Pretty lame and horrifically judgemental response to the guy”s question. Instead of answering it, you spend your time judging him for how he perceives the world– the very thing you are criticizing him for. If he wants to bate with other str8 guys…. And he makes it clear why– because he doesn’t want to go any further than bating and thinks that a str8 guy won’t push that boundary… What’s It to you? It’s funny, how those who consider themselves “elevated” and want a world without judgment are so quick to judge others who have a different perspective that’s not their own.
Physician heal thyself.
Spot on. If his pref is str8 ggjys, let’s not judge him for his preference.
A lot of “straight” guys are only straight till the pants come off and then they want to do things you already told them you are not interested in doing. I know from experience. I’ve always found that gay guys respect boundaries. 2 of the best bate buddies I’ve had are gay.