The tables have turned in this exclusive interview with BateWorld members wildhorse100 and StrokingtheSoul

Not too long ago, writer Jason Armstrong (wildhorse100 on BateWorld) was interviewed by writer Anthony Ragonese (StrokingtheSoul on BateWorld). You can read that interview here.

Now, the tables have turned and Jason interviews Anthony.  Topics near and dear to Anthony’s heart are explored – sacred bodywork, self-love, body positivity, erotic spirituality, and sex magic. 

Read on and then read Anthony’s marvelous pieces written exclusively for The Bator Blog.

Jason: Let us begin with your profile name on BateWorld and Twitter, StrokingtheSoul. How did that moniker come about and what does it represent to you or say about you?

Anthony: “Stroking the Soul” began as the title of a poem I wrote a few years ago. It’s about masturbation as a spiritual and magical practice. It is also the title of my upcoming book. When I started writing the book, I already had the perfect title, so I went with it. It is appropriate to include the poem as the opening to the book. I feel that by the time my book is published, the poem will have grown and evolved with me.

It means to touch one’s self beyond the superficial, to reach deeper into your bate and stroke your soul. Human beings are constantly distracted by external stimuli, like social media, politics, and even porn. So few of us are fully conscious within our own bodies. “Stroking the Soul” is for bators who are looking to reclaim their pleasure, explore their bate on a deeper level, and reconnect with their body and soul.

Stroking the soul, It means to touch one’s self beyond the superficial, to reach deeper into your bate and stroke your soul.

Jason: That’s exceptional brother. I’ve cried tears of joy while bating. Have you had a similar experience and what were the factors in it?

Anthony: I don’t think I’ve ever cried, but I’ve been overcome with powerful emotions. I have experienced pleasure so intense that it caused me to whimper, and full body orgasms that took my breath away. The best bate sessions are the ones that move you in some way.

Jason: Agreed! Bating can feel completely transformative in earth-shaking ways. Brother, on your Bator Blog profile it states that you are the founder of the Fraternity of Autoerotic Phallicism (FAP). I love that you reclaimed the acronym FAP from the no-fappers who work to resist masturbating! Was that intentional on your part? Tell us more about the fraternity…

…and how can I pledge?

Anthony: Of course the acronym was intentional! I created the Fraternity of Autoerotic Phallicism because I’ve never been able to find a group that provides the information and spiritual practices I was looking for, so I created my own. I decided upon that name because I wanted something other than the “Phallic Brotherhood,” which is a term that several different groups use. I wanted to create something specifically for phallus worshipers who are masturbators, because there really isn’t anything out there.

Right now the group is on Telegram, but it’s very small and I haven’t done a lot with it. I’ve struggled to find the right platform to host it. I want to move it over to Discord, as soon as I have the time to learn how to do that. I want a place where men can bond over the bate, show their devotion to phallic gods like Pan, Dionysus, and Freyr, and talk about their rituals and solo sex magic practices. That’s what Autoerotic Phallicism is, and the basis of what I’m writing about in my book. Right now the group is small, but I think as I get closer to finishing my book, things will grow.

Speaking of small things which grow, I have another group specifically for the admiration of small penises! It’s called the Diminutive Todger Society, which is not an acronym, but I wanted something that sounds like a sophisticated gentlemen’s club. You know I have a fondness for vocabulary, so I like things that sound cool and distinctive. Small dicks deserve to be treated with as much reverence and praise as big dicks, if not more so!

Jason: Yes! I read your essay on The Bator Blog titled “All Sizes are Good Sizes: Celebrating Dick Diversity and Overcoming Societal Expectations” – it was magnificently written. Regarding the FAP group, it reminds me of a worshipful penis ceremony I attended once where, fully clothed, I and two other men praised the phallus, made entreaties unto it, bonded with each other, and shared a nice cup of tea after. I wanted to ask you – what does your worship look like? Can you paint a picture of it for us?

Anthony: I do like tea. The ceremony you attended sounds very posh. What I’m doing with my book is providing information, tools, and techniques regarding Autoerotic Phallicism so men can apply it to their own path in their own way. It varies from individual to individual. I can tell you a bit about my own spiritual practices.

One of the important things is sacred space. Literally anywhere you masturbate can be your sacred space, but I think it’s a good idea to have a devotional area as a focal point for your practice. One of the things I get asked about a lot is my phallic altar. People see pictures of my altar and it inspires them to create their own. That’s so cool. My altar has evolved as my practice develops. It contains statues of deities, phalluses made of wood and semi-precious stones, seasonal items, and other accoutrements.

A ritual or spell involves me masturbating in front of the altar. Candles and incense are always involved. If it is a ritual devoted to a specific deity, I will offer my semen to him. If I’m doing spellwork, candle magic is my specialty. I pick the appropriate candle color for my intentions, and then I sit and zone out on the flame while I masturbate, envisioning the outcome in my mind.

I do lots of other things, including introspective mirror scrying and tarot reading. Even when I’m not masturbating, I’m still incorporating phallic energy into my life. And that’s exactly what it is: energy. Masturbation is the act of building up erotic energy and releasing it.

Jason: Thank you for explaining that in such fine detail. Yes, the phallic altar in the ceremony I attended had the accoutrements you described (ie. candles, phallus made of wood, etc.) and it all took place in a beautiful backyard. May I ask how you define yourself sexually? You know I define as a solosexual, pornosexual and hypersexual! I see you don’t define it on your BateWorld profile page, so thought to ask…

Anthony: My gender and sexual identities are ever-evolving. I am both male and genderqueer at the same time. I don’t think of myself as cisgender because I’ve never felt that way. I do identify as a man or at least “masculine-leaning,” but my concepts of maleness are unique to me, as they are to everyone. There is no such thing as a “real man.” A real man is true to himself. I’m here, I’m queer, in the sense of non-heteronormative.

I feel alienated from the cultural term “gay,” and “homosexual” is too clinical for me. I used to like the Greek term “androphile,” meaning sexual attraction to men or masculinity, until the alt-right “manosphere” co-opted the term, ruining the beauty of it for me. Instead, I prefer “androromantic,” which refers specifically to romantic attraction to men.

I also love Walt Whitman’s concept of “manly love of comrades.” There is something wholesome and earnest about it, free of artifice. It is more than just sex, it is about friendship and brotherhood. So I consider myself a Whitmanesque androromantic. I’m a solosexual, meaning that my primary sexual relationship is with myself. I’m also a bator, because I enjoy masturbation, both solo and with others. My sacred sexuality practice is called Autoerotic Phallicism because I wanted to take concepts of ancient Pagan phallus worship and adapt them to the modern man as a solo practice. It’s probably the most important of these labels because it’s the foundation of my journey these past few years.

As I said in our previous interview, I also coined the term “Cockmonger” for myself. Instead of mongering fish, cheese, or war, I’m promoting penises in every sense: health, autonomy, pleasure, aesthetics, symbolism, and spiritual values. There are lots of other terms I use to describe myself. We could get into BDSM terminology, as well as the problematic dichotomy of top and bottom, and even words that have nothing to do with my sexuality. I am complex and multifaceted!

Jason: In talking about identities, let’s talk about the solosexual flag you designed! You know, I hear that in 1978, Harvey “The Mayor of Castro Street” Milk asked artist Gilbert Baker to design a symbol for gays that would replace the Nazi-associated pink triangle. Baker came up with the first iteration of the Rainbow Flag, saying in a later interview that “Flags are about power“. Tell us about your flag.

Anthony: In our previous interview, I said I wanted to design a solosexual flag because I think we deserve more recognition and a symbol of our own. So I did it! A lot of thought went into it. My original concept was to create a flag exclusively for the male bator community, but it made sense to create something more inclusive and universal that can be embraced by any individual of any gender. I chose vertical columns instead of horizontal stripes because I wanted it to stand out amongst the other pride flags. It also resembles the flags of different countries such as Italy and Mexico. Vertical columns also symbolize ascension (or erection), and rising up is part of the message.

My original concept was to create a flag exclusively for the male bator community, but it made sense to create something more inclusive and universal that can be embraced by any individual of any gender.

The colors are, left to right: red, white, and royal purple. Red represents self-love and self-pleasure. White represents the purest, highest self in orgasmic bliss. Royal purple represents self-sovereignty, ruling over one’s pleasure. Many pride flags, as well as flags of the world, have a symbol or emblem in the center. I wanted something simple to reproduce yet immediately distinctive. The symbol is a red heart charged with a white letter “I” and topped with a purple crown. The Roman “I” is both a letter and numeral, representing the self, meaning I cum first.

It is applicable to all solosexuals and champions of self-love, but the idea is that it can be customized for the individual. It can be substituted for another letter, such as one’s initial, a letter of another language, or a symbol such as a phallus. So the heart and crown are integral to the design, but the symbol in the center of the heart can be anything that has meaning to you!

I really want everyone to share this flag and spread awareness. I hope one day someone produces actual, physical flags and we see them flying alongside other identity flags at pride events!

Jason: Earlier in the interview, you spoke of how external stimuli can take us out of the bate. I do love porn, I consider myself a pornosexual. Can you explain more about your feelings (and perhaps use) of porn?

Anthony: I enjoy porn, and I think most guys do. I prefer “amateur” or homemade porn more than studio porn. I like to see real people and diverse body types instead of models and actors who fit a specific aesthetic. I have nothing against porn stars or studios. But to me, it’s hotter to see average men who vary greatly in age, size, shape, and appearance.

Men can have a healthy diet of porn. It is beneficial to the sex lives of many, whether solo or partnered. But all media, not just porn, can be harmful to us, as well. We live in a culture of distraction, where we’re exposed to media at every turn, and it has a strong influence on our lives. Messages regarding what is socially acceptable and unacceptable, attractive and unattractive, are fed to us by the media and affect how we perceive ourselves and others.

Women have dealt with this forever. How this impacts men has only begun to be addressed in recent years. Men experience body shaming too. We’re told that we have to look a certain way to be sexy. We’re told that huge cocks are better and small cocks are a joke, so we compare ourselves to others hoping that we measure up. It’s very harmful to the male psyche. Porn is not the sole culprit, but it is a significant contributing factor to the issue.

We have a pandemic of disembodiment in our society. Since we’re so externally focused, most people are disconnected from their bodies even though they inhabit them. This is why so many people turn to yoga, meditation, and other spiritual practices in order to go inward and reconnect. Body consciousness is so important. That’s why sacred sexuality practices like my Autoerotic Phallicism and Bruce Grether’s Mindful Masturbation are so beneficial to the male masturbation community. It gives guys alternatives to porn that they probably never knew existed.

Like I said, I’m not demonizing porn. Porn is meant to be a fantasy, and fantasies are fun. But if our fantasies have a negative influence on our reality and cause us to become detached, that’s something we should acknowledge and find healthier expressions of our solosexuality. Men should try to get back in touch with themselves as often as possible, and explore the depths of their body and soul!

Jason: Brother, if I had to tell someone what bating was like for me in a sentence or two, I would say “Bating to me is like a Bette Midler concert: Lewd, vulgar, raunchy, but OH SO JOYOUS!” What would be the one or two sentences that encapsulate the bate for you?

Anthony: Funny that you should mention Bette Midler because I just wrote a piece mentioning when she sang at the Continental Baths in the early 70s. If I had to summarize what bating is like for me, I would say that it is one of the most satisfying, enlightening, empowering things I’ve ever done in my life, and the pleasure and wisdom it gives me continue to grow as I get older.

Jason: Thank you, you amazing Cockmonger!

Anthony: My pleasure, you sexy Horndog!

Jason Armstrong’s latest book, The Happy Hypersexual, was released in November of 2020.

Anthony Ragonese continues to write his debut book, Stroking the Soul, in addition to his work for The Bator Blog and other endeavors.