Male masturbation free from guilt or shame is one of the greatest glories that human life has to offer.
QUESTION: I’d say I’m an antique, but in good condition. I’m also the father of two fine sons and five grandsons, to all of whom I’ve given them the gift of telling them that masturbation is natural, healthy, and good to enjoy as much as you want to. There’s nothing indecent about this, nothing incestuous. I’ve simply told them, and I know they all do it plenty without guilt or shame. How does this strike you, as the Bate Master?
RESPONSE: More power to you, Brother! You’ve given your male descendants a great gift if, as you say, they really take your advice to heart and practice this. Male masturbation free from guilt or shame is one of the greatest glories that human life has to offer, and despite improving attitudes, quite a few men still have mixed feelings about the full embrace of self-pleasure. This is largely due to cultural and religious conditioning, but also in many cases from personal history.
Parents and caretakers often have no idea how destructive and traumatic it can be to a young boy’s growth and happiness, if he is interrupted from playing with himself, told he should not do so, or that it is a dirty, filthy habit. Even the teaching of a young boy that he should keep such behavior private and not do it in front of others needs to be taught carefully. For example: “There’s nothing wrong with touching yourself between your legs, just because it feels so good. Only, it’s best to do that privately in your own room. Not everyone who sees you doing it will understand or accept that it’s okay.”
Your sons and grandsons are doubly blessed in that you encouraged them that it’s not only okay, but a good thing to fully enjoy. Your sensible attitude might hopefully inspire others in similar situations of parental or guardian authority to assure younger fellows of the accurate facts. There is still condemnation of masturbation in some quarters. There are also subtler attitudes and inferences that can compromise the free and full enjoyment of male masturbation. Among these are attitudes that masturbation is only for losers—a real “manly” guy can always get others to have sex with him instead. Or that masturbation is only a substitute for “real sex,” or that masturbation is anti-social, and so on.
On the contrary, masturbation is simply a special category of erotic pleasure, worthy of respect and to be valued for its own sake. Masturbation has many special virtues, of course: you don’t need to depend on anyone else or get their cooperation to enjoy it. It’s the safest and most common form of sexual pleasure.
Brother, you’ve not only done your male family members a great service with your sensible, sane, encouraging attitude; now you may also inspire others to offer similar encouragement to their own male family members.
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
This is great, and yes, how we communicate about this with our sons and grandsons can go a long way towards instilling sexual health and self-actualization.
I have a friend who is active in his church and he has shared about telling his teenage son to enjoy masturbation as much as possible. This was really encouraging to me, especially, as you say, religion is often a source of guilt and shame. I told my friend that his son is really lucky to have him as a dad
Just wondering, how do you introduce the topic to the son, without it coming across as ‘uncomfortable’ or ‘inappropriate’? All I can say is that I wish someone in authority had given me such advice when I reached puberty. My high school friends told me that only ‘queers’ jerked off…and that totally confused me.
I’ve come to a point, late in life unfortunately, in which I can enjoy masturbation as a pleasurable moment when I’m simply horny. I encourage youth to understand that self-pleasuring begins even in the womb and should be enjoyed throughout one’s life. My only regret is that I wasn’t able to enjoy masturbation privately and with another in my younger, more formative years. I salute fathers who address bating as a normal part of life and growing up, and something to fully enjoy!
I think this may be the most important thing fathers can do for their sons. As someone who truly loves masturbation and embraces it as an integral part of my life, have attempted to do the same with my sons. I divorced when my sons were quite young, and started the process of introducing them to a healthy understanding of masturbation over a period of years. By the time they were 12, they had a positive foundation established that I trust will serve them well. I have tried to enlist their mother to reinforce this guidance, but the boys indicated that she was less understanding and didn’t always provide the privacy a young boy needs. Thankfully, I was able to do that for them when they are in my home during the summers. I simply gave them “do not disturb” signs to place on their bedroom doors that they were free to use whenever they desired. I also gave them some excellent books, provided them with plenty of lube and privacy. I have also been honest with them about the special place masturbation holds in my life, so they understood that this is not anything to be ashamed of or that this is just for kids (until you get old enough for “real sex”), etc. Now that both sons are in college, I have shared resources with them this summer such as your book as I want them to learn the joys of multiple dry orgasms that have given me so much pleasure. I have a feeling they are spending time “practicing” this art quite a lot as the “Do Not Disturb” signs have been on display – some times for a few hours at a time. Makes this old bator very happy to see!