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Ask The Batemaster: Noisy Bate Vs. Quiet Bate

bate noise

“You can turn this [penis pleasure] into a mental focus to explore ever-higher plateaus of pleasure…”

QUESTION: Sometimes, Bruce, you say that the more noise you make during the bate the more pleasure you feel. But I still live at home, though I’m an adult. How can I increase my penis pleasure without making a lot more noise?

RESPONSE: This is not one of those absolute things. Consider your penis pleasure as a project of ongoing refinement. In the effort to keep the sound down, instead of letting it be a problem, you can turn this into a mental focus to explore ever-higher plateaus of pleasure, quietly and intensely. It’s not necessarily and either/or situation.

For many guys, when you first move into your own place it’s a great breakthrough to start making a lot more noise when you masturbate. No more concern over creaking furniture, slurping lube and thumping sounds, moans, groans, gasps, even shouts of your enjoyment! The last thing you need while enjoying your sessions is the concern that someone might be offended overhearing you. If it is the right person, of course, it might even be great to invite them to join in.

I’ve spoken with some men who feel they can “bottle up” the bliss to concentrate their sensations, and I’ve tried it. Yup! It can work both ways, from my own experiments too! Keeping your powerful sensations within you deliberately may even be able to intensify your pleasure. A real part of this is your intention and your focus.

For your own sake, I suggest you explore the options. Though you live at home, figure out how to get to some isolated and private outdoor place, where you are sure no one will see you. Then give yourself permission to make a lot of noise. Pay full attention to how this feels. For city-dwellers you might have to give yourself a chance by renting a motel room or a B&B or some kind of accommodation—at least overnight—and try the same experiment. 

Take any opportunity when you parents might be gone for a while, to give yourself free reign for experiment and exploration. Keep in mind that whether they would accept it or not, your parents are probably well aware on some level that as an adult you do masturbate. No need to throw it in their faces, but at the same time, you need to enjoy your life; enjoy your body as much as possible.

To enhance pleasure: when you masturbate breathe deeply, keep the focus on yourself, stay relaxed and use plenty of lube. Most guys I witness seem to be racing for the finish line, so I say: “Go slow, slow down, take your time.” Pay full attention to what you are doing and what you are feeling. That’s mindfulness, and it doesn’t really require making a lot of noise.

You owe it to yourself. Maybe you will discover that keeping the sounds bottled up can actually provide a special joy for you. Explore all your options 

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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2 Comments

  1. Ah an ages old concern for bators for sure. Fortunately there are many options to help us out. And likely something many of us have had to figure out when growing up at home and first started masturbating. Our keen sense of surroundings and knowing when its safe to be noisy and when we need to be very quiet. As we become experienced bators we know…. when & where its appropriate to make noise.

    I live alone yet there’s a tenant in the above apartment and when he’s there (which is most of the time) I know to do my masturbating abit more quietly than if he were away. Yet there have been tenants over the years in apartment above who, omg, I could hear them fuck. And sometimes multiple times.

    There was 1 nice gal who I finally got brave enough to leave her a note to which I basically asked her to stop fucking all night. Perhaps I worded it differently. And respectfully she went to her boyfriends place for sex after that. And oddly enough she still – talked to me after that. Ha. She married the guy too.

    I think making noise while masturbating is certainly OK and an added benefit for arousal, but be respectful of others at the same time. Especially while living at home or with roommates.

  2. I have been reading for decades how we should be more expressive with our feelings and vocalize our pleasure more during masturbation. And, I have done so. Not in a theatrical or over the top manner, but given the thin walls of most apartments, loud enough to hear when my neighbors don’t have tv or something making some noise. I have had more than one neighbor comment to the effect of “sounds like you have been having some fun lately” with either disgust or a laugh. Not that it’s stopped me!