When I told my friend, “Brett,” that I might be writing a personal story for Bateworld for International Bi Visibility Day (celebrated around the world on September 23rd each year), he wrote, “Well in my opinion masturbation as a social activity makes a fantastic way to celebrate our bisexuality. A perfect example is the way we enjoy our marriages with our wives while at the same time having the wonderful times you and I have.”
As Brett’s comment implies, he and I are friends, we are both bisexual, and both married to women who understand that when Brett and I masturbate together it fulfills a part of us they cannot, and in no way threatens our marriages. If anything, we know, as do they, that we are happier when we are not suppressing our desire for male intimacy and sexual release. Brett even met my wife as we were opening our marriage and shared candidly about how this works out with him and his wife.
I am writing especially to single or partnered straight identified, bi-curious and bisexual guys who might have female partners* when I say that masturbating with another guy can be a healthy and fun way to explore and, yes, celebrate, bisexual orientation and desire.
First off, sexuality is fluid and our natural attractions and turn ons can change over time. Over my lifetime I have at various points identified as straight, gay, solosexual and now happily bi. Most guys, regardless of orientation, get aroused by the sight of an erect penis. Why this is, is a whole other discussion. Masturbating with a friend or buddy, even a safe guy you meet online on site like Bateworld (Most online dating and hook-up sites tend to cater to binary sexualities.), has the advantage of allowing for same-sex exploring without the added pressure of any type of oral or anal penetrative sex, unless of course you want to add that. Masturbation only with other guys is the arrangement Brett and I have with our wives.
Secondly, many men are comfortable in their chosen straight or bi identity and opposite sex relationship, and at the same time desire to share the excitement of mutual masturbation and male bonding with a bro. I have had bisexual men, who lean more straight, tell me that while they have no desire to date a guy romantically, they do have a desire to have sex with them. Once again, masturbating is a good first step and who knows, there may, or may not, be more that you want to try after getting your feet wet so to speak.
My first experience masturbating with a bi friend, Mike, was when we were both in our late teens / early twenties. We were hanging out at my place having a few beers and hitting the bong when the conversation turned to jacking off. I kept asking more questions and as we shared back and forth about how we masturbate, this was all it took for two horny guys to then strip down and tug one out side-by-side on my twin beds. Fast forward to my marriage and his marriage, then divorce, from his wife, he came back to town and we enjoyed doing this together a few more times in recent years.
Back to Brett…He and I look forward to his “batecations” at an all male gay-friendly, nudist resort nearby where we help each other out and try new things that turn us on. This past May, in celebration of another special date on the calendar, International Masturbation Month, Brett and I met at his room, got naked and excitedly started pulling each other’s erections. For Brett, this reminds him of his days in school where the guys would have sleepovers and masturbate together all the time. For me, it was that same pleasure I missed, but am now enjoying making up for. This time, I got to practice something I really like, which is “edging” guys to the brink of ejaculation over and over making their ultimate explosion that much more toe curling and powerful. I don’t know why, but I really enjoy the feedback loop that happens when I am giving a guy a hand job and it’s like a contest for me to watch his responses and prolong his orgasm as long as possible. As an added treat, we made a video of me doing this which Bateworld Premium members can watch here.
Brett and I are also both members of “Husbands Out to Wives” and after we both came and cleaned up we had a nice dinner with two other married men who are in the group and were at the resort for the same purpose we were.
So, whether you are young and single, or more mature and partnered and wanting to safely explore, consider masturbating with a buddy as a way to celebrate your bisexuality or bi-curiosity this month. Share your experiences or plans in comments. Whatever you do, have a great Bi Visibility Day!
*I, in no way, condone “cheating” as I prefer ethical and open non-monogamy. But I also understand that for some men such openness is not possible and I do not judge.
Written by Stefan Jax (Doggyboner on Bateworld.com)
Keep a look out for our Bisexuality Visibility Day article this coming weekend for suggestions on how you can celebrate! ???
great article, so well put how ethical and open non-monogamy can work. I am also bi and my gay boyfriend is not “on board” with me having sexual contact with anyone other than him; i respect that boundary as i love him and his wishes are very important to me. I was faithfully married for 18 years to a woman so i know about not “cheating” in a relationship. I wish one day everyone could be so open and honest with their partner as Stefan Jax and his wife are, it would really end the idea of “cheating” all-together. Happy International Bi Visibility Day.
I really appreciate what you composed here. I am an older gay man and I have found that I prefer masturbating with another guy more than any other sexual choices. It is fun and sensual and there is no performance anxiety. I really get turned on by young guys and at my age I seem to attract young guys that like to masturbate with older men. Lucky for me there are lots of young guys that prefer the same thing and they like jacking off with me because I like to edge and when I masturbate their young inexperienced bodies, they learn things they hadn’t yet experienced. Prostate orgasms are new to most bi and straight young men. I turn then on to layed back long sessions that can go on for hours. It is actually romantic to enjoy giving another pleasure and they tell me the same thing that they feel loved and happier since we met and I got them to realize that it isn’t about having an orgasm that is so sexual. That of coarse is wonderful, but it brings about a conclusion, but the erotic experience they are having, they tell me is like being in a perfect place that has no pressure or stress, they want that to last. Sometimes the have come close multiple times and nearly lost control the last time so they want to just hug and snuggle for awhile and tell me how safe they feel and that they love the time we spend together. There are only three guys and I usually see two of them several times a week and we just had a group gathering for the first time because my third freind travels and I see him once a month so I surprised him with two naked young guys and the three of us gave him a long edging night. He was in heaven and of coarse we were all hot and masturbating all the while. All three guys layed me back and thanked me for giving them a welcoming environment to enjoy this part of the sexual desires. They all touched me all over and each gave me a gentle sensual kiss on my dick and we; I don’t really want to end here so I’ll just say that the four of us spend a lot of time together. One freind runs in most every morning Horny as he can be so, he leaves an hour early for work. He strips naked, comes upstairs fully loaded, and gently pulls back my bedding and masturbates over me. It’s really nice, he says if he gets up late and hasn’t time then, all day he thinks about quitting time when he can come jack off out by the pool. I love these golden years.
Dana, I’m glad the article inspired you to share your own wonderful and life-affirming, erotic story
Dana hi I’m Don I suffer from post prostate cancer surgery and can only achieve half of an erection and I can masturbate but I produce no sperm at all. I get all of the feelings of having an orgasm but I do not cum. If you knew me and my problems would you still masturbate with me.
Thanks Don
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yes,I would love to Bate with you…..
I would love to bate w/you & also fellate you if that was cool. Just because you aren’t able to cum you still experience orgasm. Orgasm & ejaculation are 2 separate things. Happy Orgasms!!!
I’d love to masturbate with you.