When you can both be open to it, honest communication makes all the difference in the world!
QUESTION: My boyfriend of nearly a year is totally adorable. It’s more than sexual, but a lot of that too. Most of the time we mainly just masturbate together, which I like best. Isn’t that cool? Only mostly I masturbate him, and I usually have to masturbate myself too, to really get off. He just doesn’t have the touch I want and need, so I wonder if I should tell him?
RESPONSE: The saying goes, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” So, in a real sense I think you need to decide if anything is not quite right about the situation. It sounds to me that for now, your situation is in many ways quite enviable. A lot of guys on BateWorld.com would surely love to be in your shoes, at least in terms of your relationship.
What you describe is not at all uncommon among men who enjoy sharing masturbation, and who love the mutual aspect of stimulating each other’s penises manually. Don’t rush into any such thing, but if you do decide you want to tell your boyfriend more about how he could masturbate you more successfully, be careful not to injure his pride. Sense out whether or not he might feel hurt or offended by your offer to help him stimulate your penis more skillfully.
Such an arrangement as you already have may be perfectly fulfilling and happy for both of you for now, so don’t rush into trying to fix anything—that’s my suggestion.
If you do decide it would be really great to teach him to masturbate you more successfully, start with a sort of oblique approach: if he touches you, and tries to stimulate your penis, gently put your hand on his; show him that way. If you say anything, keep it positive and encouraging. Don’t tell him what you don’t like, tell him what you do like. “This is really nice,” you might say as he squeezes your shaft hard, and begin stroking, but if he goes faster or slower than he likes, you can tell him, “Wow, I’m already getting close to cumming, can we go slower?” Or, “Yes, I really like it fast like this, wonderful, oh thank you!” Or, “My mushroom head is extremely sensitive!”
Once this is started, never hesitate to explicitly show him. Demonstrate by putting your hand on his, in terms of pressure or speed. If he seems open to it, move his hand away and clearly show him exactly what you like; demonstrate on your own penis.
Some guys love to incorporate deep kissing into mutual masturbation, which can really heighten the erotic sensations. Also, there is a great position: one guy behind the other, as if spooning the front guy’s back with your front, then reaching around and stimulate his genitals and his body from behind him. Each man can tell the other exactly what he likes and ask his buddy to try it.
No one can be expected to read someone else’s mind and know exactly what the other guys likes and wants, so if possible, communicate openly. Use masturbatory “Show and tell.”
When you can both be open to it, honest communication makes all the difference in the world!
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at BateWorld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your body or sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
Funny how we can be so reluctant about being open with partners. I remember so wishing that I was open with gal friends that I could share my love for masturbation and how much I would enjoy it if they bated me. And how I’d love to help them get off as well or watch them bate for me. But I never was never able to openly chat about sex and to share my interests. Yet here on BW I’m open and able to chat about my interests and needs.