Not a person born so far has ever gotten here without a cock being involved. It’s a fact of life. The hard penis is a distinctive feature of the male of the species, a handy tool and complimentary towel rack that gives people something to look at on a naked man–if you happen to enjoy that sort of thing.
Cock is a useful toy for adding healthy doses of pleasure to a man’s life, for activating all the erotic pleasure centers in the body, and temporarily relieving a man’s cares and woes. Cock is capable of being very friendly toward others, it’s a provocative puppet, and it also helps to propagate the species. So why is cock so universally loathed?
One of nature’s most cherished inventions (at least from the male perspective), the erect penis is also, ironically, the object of an almost ubiquitous revulsion among most cultures in history. Why is it that something so important to civilization, not to mention an individual man’s sense of identity and self, is considered by society at large to be a subject of shame, humiliation, derision and disgust?
It’s true that there are some cultures where cock has been enshrined, and history has had its share of erect art. But even when otherwise naked cultures cover the penis, I wonder what it is inside us as a species, in our primal record, that makes cock so shameful across most cultures.
I’m not advocating for flashing dick out in public, but as men we all know the price that we pay to interact in the social sphere, keeping our penis well-hidden and invisible to polite society at all times. When you’re in public, your penis must cease to exist. Except for a few nude beaches around the world, the majority of cultures require that all genitals must be invisible at all times, so for many men, cock does not exist outside the safe confines of our private moments. The residual shame that results from subordinating our sexual identity takes a toll on our psyche as men. It can neuter us and makes us ashamed of being in our own skin. For a lot of guys, we just accept that agreement without thinking, because we give in to the idea that our cocks are naturally shameful and never consider that there might be other viewpoints.
Why is it that something so completely natural and important to men must be hidden away, even from consenting adults? Although there’ve been major inroads in TV and films, the erection is still an object of shame and mustn’t ever be viewed directly, lest we turn to stone.
Instead of being respectful or reverential about the power of cock to actually, literally, create our living selves, depictions of the erection are considered a nearly universal definition of pornography. That attitude permeates public dialog about our masculinity and sexuality–even online, where the free and open exchange of ideas wrestles with the limitations of corporate fiat.
Recently Google announced that they would change their Blogger policies to ban all explicit adult imagery–only the blog owner would be able to view anything posted that openly showed erections or other sexually provocative imagery. Fortunately that decision was reversed pretty quickly, and I was glad to see that in their statement Google mentioned that sexuality is an issue of identity for some people. But this only points out the controversy surrounding a completely natural, life-affirming (and -making), herald of mankind–the iconic image of manhood–the proudly displayed cock. That our culture looks at a hard cock and thinks “Horror And Damnation” instead of “Cool Evolutionary Tool For Good Times and Great Memories” says so much about our true values and phobias.
The real culprit, it seems to me, is the fear of pleasure. Body shame is a powerful tool, and men are taught to live in a steady state of shame for being instinctively sexual. To bring pleasure into one’s life, or share it with others, has been depicted as uncivilized, unhealthy, sinful, and “animalistic.”
A man who overrides those messages and takes things into his own hands, so to speak, is taking a revolutionary stand against the traditional codes of virtue that were never actually virtuous to begin with. We have cocks. Cocks are good. When used properly, cocks are very, very good. It’s those dogmas that are wrong.
Technology is now allowing us to share our cocks freely online, and that’s a great step forward. Men of all ages are posting their hard and naked selfies on all kinds of social media, and for some young men it’s become just an acceptable part of the dating ritual. I love how men are embracing their sexual identities now without shame. There’s a freedom in sharing the hardon online. To show hard is to be liberated from all the baggage that other people inflict on us. It’s a way of recognizing our uniqueness, our erotic power, our uninhibited pride as men.
Showing hard is a male power that we’ve been denied throughout history, but with digital technology we’re creating a new culture where cock is welcomed and celebrated among consenting adults. That’s a welcome sign of things to come.
Great piece of writing! Well said!
There is nothing wrong with cock, or having one, or having it do what it’s meant to. However, society tells us that the shame of having one is preferable to the acceptance and celebration of having one.
This is even the case in a naturist environment. Boys are raised as naturists, encouraged to be nude and to feel no shame about running around and being seen. Until they hit puberty when suddenly they’re informed that a hard willy is bad willy that no-one wants to see. It should covered and hidden until it goes away. This must be so confusing for them, and sends out a very contradictory message to the wider public who are led to believe that naturism is accepting of our natural naked bodies.
Is this led by the female perspective of what being a man is, and what a penis signifies or does it originate with religious beliefs and how they governed society’s thinking?
Whichever, it is time we started to be unashamed, not only about having a penis, but also about being male.
Hey thanks for that great comment. I follow a nudist blog on tumblr and it has an embedded statement that naturists are not to be confused with people who appreciate having sex organs, or something to that effect. Basically, neutered naturists. To each his own, but for me, I’m always glad to see a man with a hardon, and I don’t take it as a threat. Sometimes, it’s even a compliment.
A man proudly displaying his penis on a nude beach is not a threat to anyone. I really don’t want to be starting a men’s rights groups here based on freedom to show hard lol. I certainly understand that there are public spaces where everyone should maintain civility, diplomacy and decorum. But there need to be adult spaces where adults can enjoy being human. See: Cap d’Agde 🙂
Also, as to your point about the female perspective, I’m not one so can’t speak for anyone, but I know a lot of women really like looking at cock too. Like I said, it’s part of the dating ritual now. I do often wonder why straight male nudists shave their pubic hair off though. Is that because the lady in their life demands it or what? I don’t know. But certainly there’s a good deal of shaming that comes from some women. And that’s backed up by the traditions of religion and other social factors.
I think I have read somewhere that naturists (both genders) shave their body hair because they feel more natural being smooth. I don’t understand this, to be adult is to have body hair, how can removing it be more natural? The daft thing is you do see photos of male naturists who have only removed their pubic hair, leaving their chest, belly and limbs natural. Umm…what? Surely this just draws more attention to the genitals. I have a copy of British Naturism magazine, in it is a picture of a man with no pubic hair, wearing a big silver cock ring! Cock rings aren’t jewellery, they are enhancement aids! I can’t help but feel there is a lot of veiled sexual posing and double standards in the naturist community.
Ha. I agree with you. Body acceptance isn’t the only thing that brings the kind of liberation I’m talking about, it also requires understanding our own prejudices and place in the scheme of things. I’m sure there’s another essay in there somewhere lol.
An ancient wisdom states that any culture (civilization) that does not respect – worship-PENIS-COCK- is on its way out.
Some slowly forget—-some cease to REMEMBER.
WE ARE ALIENS -MUST BE-TO DENY THE CREATIVE FORCE THAT IN THS REALM SHOWS ITSELF AS COCK.AND USURP ITS POSITION AND STEAL ITS POWERS-and make OUR CLEVER but very inadequate ANIMAL EGOS god.
Our modern disease created from our madness –OUR FEAR– is embracing us.
We so carefully nurtured to maturity OUR FORGETFULLNESS.OUR ignorance and arrogance that we are SO PROUD OF has made un human creatures of us.We chose a course that has led us NOT TO TRUTH AND WISDOM AND LOVE but instead to a darkness. LIES AND DECEIT IS OUR ACHIEVEMENT AND IT HAS MADE US DEAF DUMB AND BLIND.WE RULE THIS REALM— SELFISHLY —SHAMELESSLY—forgetting everything right by making everything wrong the standard of perfection SEEING NOTHING BUT WRONG WE NO LONGER REMEMBER ANY RIGHT.COCK BEING HIDDEN FOR EONS WAS ALMOST FORGOTTEN.AND THIS WAS PURPOSEFULLY MEANFULLY DONE.IT WAS A CEVER TRICK -A CHEAP MAGIXIAN’S DISSAPEARING ACT–TO RID HIM FROM THIS WORLD and allow those who would steal it from us and from GOD-by conjuring themselves its replacement.
It is so sad that the belief in conservative religious fables and fairy tales of man made gods has created so much shame and guilt upon man that we cannot live naturally as mother nature intended us to.
Regardless of our moral or religious upbringing, I think all of us were and are being raised with mixed messages. I know many don’t approve of the Judeso-Christian belief but the basic belief that sex is to be between a husband and wife only is consistent with their belief that this is a world affected by sin and that sin separates man and God. That being said, those homes like all others can easily and often unintentionally give what are or appear to be mixed messages. Sometimes the message ends up being mixed because a child’s mind can not process everything the way an adult mind can. It doesn’t have the life experiences and information an adult mind has AND because of the two factors it is not emotionally on the same level as an adult.
I was raised to ALWAYS hide the appearance of any buldge including my flaccid penis. I spent years making sure nothing showed. In my case, even though I am a grower and not a shower, this was not always easy.
It was only a few years ago when I said “enough is enough” and started to allow my cock to be known that I really began to enjoy my sexuality AND feel that I was equal to other men. Yes, sometimes I have been known to call attention to my groin. As shallow as it is I feel more masculine to have my cock’s presence noticed. However, not only am I free from the shaming work of hiding my cock (which took a lot of emotional energy) but I feel more masculine. Do I parade my cock? Generally I do not (sometimes I wear enhancing underwater and enhancing jocks) but I also don’t work to hide it. Just as I would if I was speaking in public I consider who I might be around, how my message will be interpreted (dress, buldges, etc) and what is appropriate. I am a PART of my society and not the whole of my society. In order to be a true team player I have to give and take. If I really want to change things then I need to be a leader and to be an effective leader I must be a team player. Full rebels, if they create change at all, will bring about change slowly, their change has a good chance of being short lived, and their history will not be viewed positively. Slow change, short lived change, or change that is remembered negatively is not effective change.