Distinguishing your fantasies vs. realities is important!
QUESTION: Is it wrong to fantasize about something that could be immoral, or even illegal while I masturbate? Some of those things just turn me on so intensely, man, like nothing else!
RESPONSE: Many people assume that fantasizing is what masturbation is all about. Of course, creative self-pleasure has many other major delicious facets. You can make a case for the fact that watching and listening to porn is a form of media-assisted fantasy, because you use the images that arouse you to stimulate your pleasure, and yet it remains vicarious. It is not what is actually happening here and now, though your sensations are real. But live-action porn did happen somewhere at some time and was recorded for an audience.
Even masturbating with another man or other men LIVE via video conference may end up partaking of some fantasy, as guys often talk about imagining doing things with each other, to trigger higher arousal, though they are actually far apart.
Fantasy is a powerful tool to allow you to experience things that you may never truly experience in your body, in real-time. It can also be an escape from immediacy, that is, it may act as a kind of disconnect from other realities of your life. Even in this way, fantasy may serve healthy purposes, as sometimes you need “shelter from the storm,” a period to process something challenging or seriously difficult in your actual daily life.
In terms of darker fantasies that arouse you while you masturbate, by which you apparently mean things considered especially kinky or even transgressive, so long as these images and experiences remain imaginary, they cannot truly harm anyone.
It is important to distinguish, however, with fantasies that would in actuality harm someone or comprise illegal acts, to be certain that you do not seek out porn created in such actual situations, which would victimize those involved in the making. So long as you are not inspired to actually engage in harmful or illegal activities, even the wildest fantasies are okay for you to indulge in.
It is healthy for you to confront and experience such fantasies in your imagination, plus there’s nothing wrong with being aroused by them. This may help you to become more aware of some aspects of yourself you have not so consciously examined. You may even release some of the stress, guilt, and shame such fascinations or imagined activities can invoke.
There are still plenty of irrational sexual taboos in the world, but some activities are illegal because they easily do cause harm.
Be aware of the boundaries between fantasy and actual experience in cases like this. It might sound strange at first to mention, but in this day and age of convincing CGI in films and on TV, and plenty of misinformation in the media, take care to be aware of the difference between your inner, private world, where anything goes and acting upon it in your external reality, where you need to take care to harm no one, including yourself.
With this clear awareness, enjoy the potent powers of your imagination, and fuel your bate in any crazy way you wish!
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BRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.
Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at www.eroticengineering.com.
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A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
Clear-headed advice. Fantasy is indeed a powerful tool at our disposal, and, masterfully reigned in and geared towards good, will provide boundless pleasure.
Very well put! The mental nature of humans can be a side-track from direct, embodied experience, but it can also be a most powerful tool. Thanks for the comment. – BPG