Ask The Batemaster: Is My Cock Shrinking?

“If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.”

QUESTION I am 43 and have been single for some time. I think my cock is getting smaller cause I only have a wank about once a week and cum quite quick when wanking, also I don’t get a proper hard on when wanking. Any advice on getting a bigger harder cock would be great. Many thanks.

RESPONSE: In fact, there is some truth to “If you don’t use it, you lose it.” With less use, meaning not masturbating often, or longer sessions, your penis can definitely seem smaller, and may actually lose size. I’ve encountered several men who went through prolonged periods with little or no sexual activity following a loss, an illness, or a traumatic breakup, who felt that when they resumed sexual activity, their penis was permanently smaller.

In medical or scientific terms, I doubt this is absolutely true. No serious studies have been done on this exact matter. Still, to restore and maintain the function and maximum form—meaning size in this case—actively pursue ways to increase your sexual activity, intensify your arousal, seek to prolong your sessions of masturbating.

The actual size and firmness of any man’s erections always varies somewhat. Never worry about having an absolutely full erection all the time while you masturbate; let it come and go naturally. You can enjoy much pleasure while semi-erect. With prolonged, full erection, your penis becomes about as big as it can get, but this is never absolute. Remember: it is elastic.

Sometimes I advise against too much obsessive reliance upon porn for stimulus, but to deliberately pursue the images that turn you on most online, and masturbate to them might help. Something important for all masturbators to be aware of is that arousal and erection are part of the “relaxation response” of the nervous system wiring, the opposite of stressful “fight or flight.” To really enhance your pleasure, improve the quality of erections, be sure you remain as relaxed as possible while you masturbate.

Don’t tighten up pelvic muscles. Make sure your chest and shoulders are not tight with stress. A great way to counteract stress is to breathe deeply, the first thing I suggest when I coach men in Mindful Masturbation. To be sure you are doing deep abdominal breathing, put a hand on your belly. (Forget vanity!) Make sure that when you breathe IN, your belly goes OUT; when you breathe OUT, your belly goes IN. This means you take deep abdominal breaths, the opposite of tense upper-chest breathing.

If you are not using plenty of lubrication, try this. I’m not a fan of pharmaceuticals, but you might want to ask a doctor to prescribe a few of the effective erection enhancement drugs, and use a pill or half a pill now and then, just to get back into the swing of things. Unless you really require these for other reasons, you may just try them a few times to “prime the pump,” so to speak, and get back into the swing of things. Such drugs can be very expensive, and I don’t suggest them unless truly necessary.

Once you get going, practice the various ways to prolong your sessions that are the backbone of edging and Mindful Masturbation techniques: breathe deeply, keep relaxed, vary your strokes, vary your positions. Reclaim the joy of pure penis pleasure for its own sake! Hopefully, some of these suggestions will help get your erections back in gear, keep your penis exercised and fully enjoyed.

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BRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.

Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at www.eroticengineering.com.

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A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.