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Ask The BateMaster: Direct Prostate Stimulation

How Can I Stretch My Hole Safely?

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QUESTION: I have a very tight asshole. I finger it and can slip small objects in to use as a dildo. But I can’t get anything bigger inside. I’m afraid to force anything bigger in, and tear something. How can I safely stretch my hole? I use lube… any suggestions???

RESPONSE: As you’ve learned, anal insertion isn’t as easy as it looks in most of the porn videos, where in reality the guys receiving into their anus are already very experienced and stretched. In your real life, there are a number of safe and effective ways to work towards safely accepting something bigger, and being able to enjoy it.

First of all, be aware that your body arouses from front-to-back, so don’t even attempt any insertion until after you stimulate your penis for a while, say 20 or 30 minutes at least. Begin gradually, don’t rush; yes, plenty of lube is always good. Use a finger or smooth object rubbing across and around the external sphincter. Push inward and pull back for a while without actual insertion. Take your time.

Further, be aware that the anus has two sphincter muscles shaped like tight little donuts: the external (which you can see with a hand mirror), and a bigger inner muscle. The outer muscle at the surface is under voluntary control, though the stronger inner muscle is more under automatic or unconscious control. To put it bluntly, consider what happens when you poop. Moving from inside, your body knows when you need to eliminate waste. You become aware of it when that inner sphincter relaxes to signal your brain, then you’re ready, you can relax the outer muscle and it happens.

A major part of insertion is that you can accept something into your body most successfully when you really want to when you are really ready.That Inner muscle will relax and be willing to stretch. Insertion tends to feel like backward elimination at first and requires some getting used to. Be patient; never force it if it’s really painful, though it’s likely to get intense. Take your time, and if you use fingers, graduate from one to two, then to three when you’re ready. You’ll feel it when the inner sphincter is ready.

This is part of discovering direct prostate stimulation, which is also a great topic.

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The Bate Master - Bruce P. GretherBRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.

Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at www.eroticengineering.com.

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A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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