Many men in today’s world (sometimes myself included) enjoy masturbating to porn on the Internet, which can prove highly arousing and provide great bate fuel. In my opinion, porn is sacred, as it shares an extremely important part of our lives that most mainstream cultures still frown upon and often seek to keep hidden.
One aspect of this fantastic cornucopia of stimulating imagery is not entirely beneficial, however, and some enthused male masturbators may not wish to hear about this reality. Studies suggest that too much reliance upon the endless novelty of arousing images available at the click of a button can actually desensitize certain pleasure centers in the brain.[1][2]
In fact, some younger men who spend many, many hours and hours surfing porn while masturbating are actually suffering erectile dysfunction, more commonly than older men. This doesn’t mean porn is bad, but it’s powerful and is a two-edged sword, which can have drawbacks. Maybe this tells to keep a bit more focus on ourselves.
The good news is that there are different consequences to stimulating yourself with actual imagery of more ordinary men (instead of pro porn models) such as those who share images and videos on Bateworld, In particular, sharing live via video conference with actual men as we masturbate together is rewarding and a genuine form of sharing.
We can actually bond with fellow men, particularly when we are open to trusting one another to share our full body and faces online, and to engage in some actual conversation, to learn a bit about each other, so we’re not just masturbating with another penis or set of genitalia, but with another man! Take a real interest in your Phallic Brothers.
This is a safe haven for men who wish to share intimately, but not necessarily in person, the invitation to witness each other online via visual and audio functions available in many formats online. My experience is that men long to be witnessed, and to witness one another’s aroused genitals and self-pleasuring practice this way: we inspire one another, and we bond, even if we may never learn the details of each other’s personalities and daily lives. Maybe a lot of those details are not so important?
This is a valuable, even a priceless form of sharing that only today’s Internet Age makes possible.
Men all over the planet long for this kind of contact and sharing, and while it may prove more problematical in person, online there can be a certain level of discretion, and at the same time openness that exhilarates and stimulates. We learn from one another.
I suggest a few parameters:
- Don’t start with a phone number, not to be paranoid, just out of mutual respect for each other’s parameters, it’s cooler to get to know each other via some form of video conference not necessarily tied to a specific location.
- Strive for generosity of spirit, always to be as encouraging as possible, and not judge anyone by their appearance or age.
- Seek to make your contact comfortable, and you can expect the same in return; if someone does not treat you in a way you feel comfortable with, you are not obligated to continue, thank him and sign off.
Most men in masturbatory bliss are capable of great kindness and generosity of spirit.
It’s an amazing planet of male masturbators out there, and I believe if we get more and more men of all sexual persuasions masturbating together online globally, it can even help us to move toward world peace.
Call me a dreamer — I don’t mind!
1. Cambridge Study: Internet porn addiction mirrors drug addiction (2014)
2. Predicting Compulsive Internet Use: It’s All about Sex!
I liked to know of a good website for this activity…I’d really like to try it. I need the feeling of buddy closeness. Thanks for any info.
Personally, I like Skype, FaceTim, and Google Hangouts for masturbation camping 1-on-1 or sometimes with a group of guys, that can be arranged. There are places where some guys stroke to a bigger audience… what is is, Cam2? Maybe some other guys also have suggestions… and of course, BW has a video-cam function, right?
always masturbate making a lot of noise
I’ve been a “visual masturbator” most all my life. That’s nearly 50 yrs of visual stimulation for me. I can attest to how pornograhy can depersonalize an individual. Porn as a whole is non-judgemental stimulation, viewing porn…you are part of the action and participate without interaction. It feels great, you put it away and go on with your life, no harm – no foul. There is a sort of dependency on this type of visual masturbation that develops over time and erodes our sensitivity to others. Soon, no one meets the expectations you crave for your gratification so you continue to search for more porn. We need to change this. I believe strongly in face to face, cock to cock, hand to hand masturbation either 1 on 1 or in a group. Masturbation is no longer something we should have to hide from. It’s safe, it’s healthy and it feels good. If we would all just masturbate together, without expectation or judgement, but as men. I’m sure that within time we could change the way we look as healthy masturbation.
Thank you for your wonderful comments here! Indeed, it really does not matter how a man publicly identifies in terms of his sexuality–more than ever, I feel MOST MEN can enjoy seeing penises, get aroused,and even enjoy masturbating with fellow men! Yes, porn can have drawbacks, though it can be wonderful in moderation, used a great deal it can de-sensitize the pleasure centers in your brain and even lead to erectile dysfunction. Another issues is self-esteem, as many of us may end up comparing not only others, but ourselves to the models. A third issue for me is that though many porn models are attractive, most are not well educated in terms of sexual sophistication–often their sexual behavior is repetitive and predictable, not inspiring or educational.
So true need to see the cock get hard and wet the bollocks get tight and the precum leak, the moment of release as my and sometimes or cum releases I’d pure delight
That’s always a lovely sequence of things to witness, for sure! – Bruce P. Grether
Would love a one on one encounter but where to find this. It seems the “free” chat rooms are not so free and those craiglist adsvleave much to be desired if you are married but want to fuck with another man.
You can chat for free and meet guys also…..bateworld.com
Totally!
Good article. Would love 1 on 1 even as a married man.
Most definitely, as I said above, I think aside from cultural conditioning and the opinions of others, most men can respond to the sight of a penis, and get turned on, and probably enjoy masturbating with other men, either online or in person. Thank you for saying this. It is beneficial to mental health to accept this… plus, I think the world will be a better place when men feel less dependent upon women for sexual satisfaction, more willing to rely on themselves an done another for erotic play. In many traditional societies, men love their wives passionately, but for purely intense erotic enjoyment, play with fellow males.
I agree with your thinking Bruce.
My experience is that sex with my wife is generally tender, soft and loving. Although this is wonderful sex, women don’t always make themselves available.
Whereas sex with a man is more lustful and primal.
In my view they both satisfy different sexual needs
I love the idea a lot of younger people I know have, of being “pansexual,” which to me partly means just being attracted to a person, perhaps regardless of whether they are male or female. It may sound stereotypical, but I do feel men are more likely to want sexual pleasure for its own sake, and are more likely to find that with a fellow man. Women are more often determined to relate emotional intimacy with erotic pleasure, which is not better or worse, only sometimes a bit different from male lust for raw pleasure.
great article !!! Spending quality time at the porn theatres was one of the ways i realized I wasn’t just trisexual but pansexual. The younger crowd swings much more liberally and openly these days which is a wonderful thing.
Yes! My opinion is that humans are, overall, highly sexual creatures. Certainly humans don’t neatly fit into two or three sex categories! Hail to the Great God Pan, er, uhh, to pansexuality!
Lots of great comments & thoughts, so true – I think we’re all simply – sexual. And yes we are such highly sexual creatures. I’ve heard our closest rivals species wise are the dolphins. Masturbating since I was 12 or so, perhaps the porn thing can get out of hand and have consequences for us when it comes to intercourse. I’d firm up just fine to masturbate but put my cock near a puss and I’m a limp noodle. Which of course makes for very awkward sex. And do hear that from marrieds where sex is fine, great or awesome but their partners interest varies from their own needs. Amazing how complex things can get – sexually. Yet masturbation is such an easy solution.
I use skype for mic’ing off/cyber sex
Your comments here are much appreciated. Indeed, humans are fearsomely complex creatures! One thing I’ve come to feel strongly, however, is that the greatest antidote to shame and other psychological insecurities is to retrain yourself to masturbate ever more skillfully… as a fine art. Many men continue to masturbate for most of their life pretty much the same as they began to do in their teens–and there are limitless horizons of self-pleasure to be explored. Again, my thanks.
True it’s great to have the freedom to explore other ways to self-pleasure ourselves. Yes those first times were so amazing but over the eons I have explored other techniques. For a time I got using the stream of water from the shower, omg, was such an amazing way to pleasure myself. Orgasms were so incredibly intense. For many years I used my Hitachi magic wand vibe with a cup attachment, loved that vibe so much I’d leave it plugged in and under my bed – at the ready for my morning bate. Eons ago I also discovered the inlet jet of friends swimming pool when I was house sitting one summer, omg, such a pleasant & relaxing way to get off. Elbows on the edge of the pool and just let that powerful jet of water have its way with me.
There are a thousand ways to… era… kiss the ground? Indeed, the possibilities of bliss are, IMO, truly limitless.
And that’s the beauty of our “sport” there’s so many ways… Just relax & be willing to explore our options for sexual pleasuring.
skype: apalmer5
You know if often see threads in masturbation discussion groups asking if others always watch porn when they masturbate or what kind of outside stimuli others use for porn. My typical response is usually that five and a half decades ago It was to Playboy, Penthouse, etc. And has times have changed I changed with it and now of course most of my outside stimuli is online. My biggest online stimulation is masturbating is to videos of others masturbating and have done some cam to cam but not of late. Then I exclaim that though porn is nice there are times that I just want to be alone with myself without outside stimuli and just concentrate on me. I am curious how many people these days ever leave the outside off occasionally and do as you suggest and I have done and just spend some me time.
It’s a good question that I cannot really answer definitely: How many guys at least sometimes just ignore outside stimulus for masturbation to exclusively focus on themselves. In my experience it’s not really an either/or issue, though some guys report to me a lot of benefits from going cold turkey on porn for a while. If you always rely on online porn, you may not know what you’re missing if you don’t try it without. Personally I don’t look at porn a lot, though quite often I do masturbate with men on Skype and do some coaching there. That feels like a total;ly different energy tome than porn does. Porn can be beautiful and exciting, but I find much of it rather lifeless and mechanical. Amateur stuff with real men rather than models does more for me than mainstream porn.
At an age when I thought I would have been “passed it” I am having THE MOST glorious orgasms. I kind of think it is because of reading blogs such as this, where I have found my ME. I am who I am and as long as I don’t upset anyone, I am comfortable in my head and the orgasms are just amazing. I started to experience my first orgasms in grade school, yes that far back at the age of about 5or6! I was climbing a gym rope and was a little confused at the pleasure I felt in my cock. I then tried again to capture the feeling every time I climbed a rope, pole, straight branch in a tree, the door to my room, anywhere I could. When two mates told me how to masturbate, because they would do it in class! We were about 12 or13. So that night I experienced the first of my many, many, hand holding cock orgasms, but of course I did not ejaculate as I was obviously not yet producing fluid and sperm. Now at the grand old age of 57,still enjoying the joy of masturbation and I hope to continue with this pass time for as long as I can. I am so enjoying my journey and how far I have cum. Sorry couldn’t resist the pun!
Thanks so much for the wonderful account of your journey… and maybe in some ways the best is still to come. Personally, I enjoy masturbating now more than ever before… it’s a skill that develops, and my penis literally “learns” to give me more and more pleasure all the time! That’s why I call it MindfulMasturbation, because all it really takes is to pay full attention.
I am looking for bate buddies in mid 50’s age group. So far not finding any, despite the big homo population here in South Florida. Get the impression that regular guys either rent a dude or go it a lone. Even the baths dont seem friendly over 40.
Good luck! Finding guys who really just want to bate together can still be tricky. It’s a new frontier, but I think this is a big part of the future of human sexuality. To claim masturbation as a practice just as valuable as any, and for some of us better than most is a pioneering attitude!
Also Ryan- Lots of guys find what you’re looking for on BateWorld.com.
Will there ever be a Part 2? Just askin’!
Thanks so much for asking! You have a good point… I’ll admit I’ve gotten distracted when I was asked to write the regular “Ask the Bate Master” columns, and have intended to write Part 2 of this one. I promise now, it is on the way! – Bruce P. Grether
wonderful article and feedback. I have been bating for years. I early teens and young adulthood, i loved it but alwyas had a sense of shame. Now in my late 50s I accept me for me, and relish the pleasures of self pleasure either solo or in a supportive group.